


Humanity in Focus

by transatlanticbanana



Series: The Dead Shall Rise [1]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 15:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transatlanticbanana/pseuds/transatlanticbanana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She never meant to be a damsel in distress and he sure as hell wasn't a white knight. So how the hell did they end up like this? Eventual Daryl/OC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flight

Run.

Keep running. Don't look back.

Twigs and stones bit painfully into the soles of her bare feet but she didn't stop. Zigzagging through the trees as fast as she could she didn't dare slow down. Her foot hit an upturned root; she tumbled to the ground landing in a painful heap at the base of a tree. Her breath left her in a rush. Groaning, she got up and looked around wildly. She had no idea where she was or how far into the forest she had run. When she'd first escaped her only thought had been to get as far away from him as possible. Lawrence. The very thought of him made her sick.

Everything looked the same. Panic began to set in. If she chose the wrong direction she could be running right back into him or worse. After all he wasn't the only predator lurking in these woods. Meeting them could arguably be worse. She shook her head. Now was not the time to hesitate she didn't know how close he was—

She felt a burning pain in her skull as he grabbed her hair. She pulled frantically at the hand. His breath on her ear sent shivers of fear down her spine.

"Thought you could get away from me didn't you," he pushed her to the ground. A hard boot connected with her stomach knocking the breath from her. Weakly she tried to crawl away. A hand grabbed her hair again bringing her face to meet his. "I got bit cause of you," he rasped, his face red with exertion. His gaze was cold and hard. "If I'm dying, then so are you." She whimpered and renewed her struggles. Not that she thought she was a match for him. No, she knew she wasn't. But she would never give up. She didn't give up a month ago when he and Lloyd kidnapped her and she wouldn't give up now. She would fight to her last breath to survive.

He punched her in the stomach. She fell to her knees. She tried to reach for something, anything to fight back with but her hands came up empty. Blow after blow was laid on her already battered body. She thought it would never stop. Dazed she came to the realization that this time he really was going to kill her and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop it.

"Please, somebody help!" She cried out. "Please!"

" Shut up! Ain't anybody here to help you. It's just you and me," She didn't stop pleading. "I said shut up!"

Lawrence wrapped his hands around her throat, cutting off her air supply. Her eyes went wide; her hands clawing desperately at his.

"Hey shithead, get off of her!" Lawrence whirled around. Standing off a few feet to her right was a man. He was pointing a crossbow at Lawrence.

She reached her hand out to him.

Lawrence stepped on her hand. "This ain't got nothin' to do with you. Go on. Mind your own business. Get." He spit at the ground.

"You don't tell me what to do," he sneered in response. The stranger spoke in a thick southern drawl. Not unlike Lawrence himself. He kept his crossbow trained on Lawrence. His eyes flicked to hers. He nodded ever so slightly. She allowed herself to believe for a moment that she might actually make it out of this alive. Slowly she got to her knees. She tried to pull her hand from underneath the cruel boot. Lawrence looked down at her, "Where do you think you're going?" He kicked her ribs. She yelped and rolled onto her back.

"Hey!" The stranger yelled, "I said stop!" Sometime in the previous struggle Lawrence's stained plaid shirt ripped. There on the right side of his neck was an angry red bite mark. Blood soaked through his white tank top.

The stranger took a step back. "You bit?" The question was aimed at her. She shook her head no. Lawrence took a menacing step toward her at the same time stranger fired an arrow from his crossbow. The arrow went into Lawrence's neck. Blood flowed from his mouth. His hands fluttered weakly at his throat before he fell to his knees. He looked at her, his eyes wide. He reached for her but she scrambled out of his way. He fell to his side and lay there squirming. She watched pitilessly as the life flowed out of his eyes. One last gurgle bubbled forth and he went silent. He didn't die slow enough.

The stranger walked towards Lawrence. Grimacing he pulled the arrow out of his neck. He glanced at her, "No use wasting a good arrow."

She nodded numbly.

He wiped the arrow on his pants and reloaded his crossbow. Slinging it over his shoulder he kicked at the dirt, unsure what to do next.

A few minutes passed by in silence. "Look, we shouldn't stay here. All that screaming might have attracted some geeks."

She looked at him dumbly.

"You know walkers, dead bastards that keep walking around trying to eat everything."

She nodded. So that's what they were called.

"Can you walk?"

She nodded again.

He bent to help her up but she flinched away. He put his hands out in surrender. "It's all right. I ain't gonna hurt you."

She said nothing as she grabbed the trunk of a nearby tree and slowly rose to her feet. A hand grabbed her ankle. Looking down she panicked as Lawrence tried to pull her to him; eager to get a bite of warm flesh. She kicked her leg and broke free of his grasp.

The stranger aimed his crossbow at Lawrence's head only to find his shot blocked by the girl. She raised a heavy stone above her head and brought it down on Lawrence's skull with a cry of anguish. She hit him over and over until his head was nothing but pile of mush. Exhausted she dropped the rock and slumped against the tree. Blood and bits of flesh were staining her dingy white nightgown.

The stranger quirked an eyebrow at her then cleared his throat. "Son of a bitch turned fast."

She looked at him blankly.

"Come on we should get going." The stranger strapped his crossbow to his back.

She took a wobbly step toward him; he put an arm out to steady her. She grabbed him. Looking intensely at him for a moment, "Thank you," she whispered before promptly fainting in his arms.

 

* * *

She woke with a start. Her sore ribs protested the sudden movement. Glancing down at herself, she saw that most of her body was covered in deep, dark bruises. She could feel that her lip was busted and reached tenderly for her black eye. Nothing seemed to be broken, from what she could tell. She would heal…she hoped. Looking around she saw that she was lying next to a small fire. The stranger had laid a long sleeved, button down, blue shirt over her as a makeshift blanket. A black, leather vest was over the shirt. She traced the frayed angel wings on the back of the vest.

A twig snapped to her right. She froze; ears straining to hear anything else. There was rustling, closer this time. Thinking that it could be one of them, the walkers, she looked around for something to defend herself. Seeing a stick a few inches away she grabbed it and struggled to her feet. Gripping it tight she waited for whatever it was to show itself. The stranger emerged from behind a bush a few seconds later. She breathed a sigh of relief but kept her guard up. She didn't know this man. And given recent experiences she wasn't sure she could trust him, or anyone for that matter.

He walked up slowly trying not to spook her. "You're up." He looked her up and down. His eyes fell to the handcuff dangling from her wrist. She could only imagine how bad she looked. Dirty, matted hair, body all black blue, and the stupid, torn, white nightgown they had made her wear.

He picked up a string of squirrels and put it over one shoulder. "I've got a camp not too far from here. Good people. We have food and water, some medicine, might even be able to get you some new clothes," his eyes dropped to her bare feet, "and shoes." The offer hung in the air. Would she go with him? Was there really a choice? She had no food, no water, no weapons and she was injured. Hell, she didn't even have shoes.

She nodded sharply.

"All right, let's go."

They walked in silence most of the way. Every once in a while he would look at her like she was some puzzle he couldn't quite wrap his head around.

After a few more minutes he stopped and rubbed the back of his neck. "You got a name?"

An eyebrow arched and she nodded.

"You gonna tell me or do I have to guess?" He slumped against a nearby tree; folding his arms over his chest.

When she said nothing he huffed, "I know you ain't mute." She remained silent, just staring at him with those wide, empty eyes. "Whatever, my name's Daryl, just thought you should know." He spat at the ground and resumed walking. "That's what I get for trying to start a conversation." He grumbled a bit more but she saw the small smirk that graced his lips. Somehow she didn't think he minded all that much.

Walking into the camp was a nerve-wracking experience. By her calculations she hadn't had contact with people other than her captors for a little over a month. She shadowed Daryl's every move as he wove his way further into the camp, hoping that by some small miracle no one would notice the bruised and broken woman walking into their midst. No such luck. As soon as they approached the small circle of people at the center of the camp, the stares and whispers had begun. She ducked her head in shame, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

A man with curly black hair and dark brown eyes immediately stood up and walked towards Daryl. An old man with a grey beard and a floppy hat followed after him. A woman with long brown hair watched from a chair, a little boy was sitting next to her. The other survivors within the camp stared but kept their distance.

"What the hell is going on?" The black haired man demanded. He put his hands on hips. She immediately went tense. Something about this man put her on edge, he reminded her a bit of Lawrence. All kind smiles, jokes and laughter but nothing could quite hide the darkness that moved behind his eyes.

Daryl stood his ground, "Found her in the woods, she was attacked. I helped her out. Ain't that what you people are always preaching around here?"

Grey beard spoke up, "Of course that was good of you," he seemed surprised, apparently this wasn't typical behavior for Daryl. His eyes met hers, "Are you hungry?"

"Now hold on just a minute," the man with the black hair spoke again; he motioned to Daryl. "Daryl, could you come over here for a minute?" Daryl rolled his eyes but followed the man a few feet away. The old man and the woman followed. "What the hell are you thinking? We don't know who she is or where she came from. She could be a threat."

She wondered if he realized that she could hear everything he was saying. Maybe he just didn't care.

Daryl scoffed, "You scared of a girl?"

The man huffed, "Of course not. I'm just saying we don't know her."

The old frowned "Shane, you can't really be considering turning this poor girl away? I mean look at her, she's been through hell."

"Actually, Dale, I am. I have the safety of this camp to worry about and letting a stranger- no matter how helpless they may look- could jeopardize everything we've built. Besides that's one more mouth to feed when we can barely feed the ones we got," he hissed.

Dale's frown deepened but he remained quiet.

"Shane," the woman said quietly. "Give her a chance."

They shared a long look. Shane dropped his head. "One chance, she starts actin' up she's out of here," he turned to Daryl. "Hope you got enough squirrels to feed her too."

Daryl spit on the ground. "Why don't you let me worry about that, officer," he sneered back.

Shane walked over to her. "You bit?"

She shook her head.

He sighed, "All the same, I'd like one of the women to check you if you don't mind?"

Once again she found herself faced with a choice that wasn't really a choice. If she didn't let them check her she doubted they would let her stay. Though the prospect of having anyone touch her was almost enough to make her want to leave, she knew that the likelihood of her survival without this group was slim to none. She would have to grin and bear it. She nodded.

"Good," he gestured to the woman. "Lori, could you?"

The woman stepped forward.

The old man cleared his throat. "You can use the RV for privacy."

Lori nodded. She smiled kindly. Guiding her by the shoulders towards the RV she spoke lowly, "Come on sweetie, we'll be done in no time."

Lori had been right. It didn't take long to check her for bites. What she could have done without was the small gasp of shock and look of pity when Lori saw the rest of her body. Not that she could blame Lori. When she had looked in the mirror she felt bad for herself.

She looked at herself in the mirror of the small bathroom in the RV. Lori had given her some fresh clothes, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with some sneakers courtesy of young blonde woman named Amy. The jeans hung low on her hips; she needed a belt borrowed from Dale, the old man, to keep them up. The sneakers fit just right. Her once dirty, matted hair was now clean. It flowed in wispy waves down her back, water droplets wetting the small of her back. The t-shirt was baggy on her small frame but she couldn't muster the gumption to care. Besides she was glad to finally be rid of that awful dress.

She glanced down at the handcuffs still hanging on her wrist. Suddenly she was overcome with the need to get them off. She knew from experience that trying to pull them off wouldn't work. The scabs on her wrists proved that. She walked out of the RV.

"You're looking better," said a voice from above. Dale was standing on top of the RV hunting rifle slung over his shoulder. She smiled slightly. Pointing to her cuffs she made a cutting motion. Dale's brow furrowed for a moment, "Oh, you want to get them off." She smiled and nodded. Dale walked towards the back of the RV and climbed down. "Maybe Shane can help. I think I read somewhere that most handcuffs have the same key, he was a police officer before all this," he stopped mid-stride and turned back to her. "Do you know if they are police handcuffs?" She nodded the affirmative. Dale opened his mouth to ask how but then thought better of it. He smiled, "Let's go find Shane."

It turned out most police handcuffs did in fact have the same key. Though her stomach had turned a bit when Shane touched her arm the overwhelming relief she felt when the cuffs were off was well worth it. She took the dress and the handcuffs and threw them into the fire pit in the middle of camp. She got a few strange looks for that but it didn't matter. Slowly but surely she was peeling back the layers of trauma that had built up over the past month. Maybe one day she would be herself again…whoever that might be.


	2. Hope

Daryl Dixon didn't waste time. He gave the squirrels he'd been carrying to Dale, spoke briefly to his brother Merle and then retreated back into the forest. Every morning at the crack of dawn he'd go out into the forest and wouldn't come back until dusk. Sometimes he wouldn't come back at all. Those times were hardest, her chest felt tight and it wouldn't loosen until he returned.She felt something for Daryl, a strong something, she just wasn't sure what it was.

It was pretty clear that Daryl was more comfortable out there than he was here in the camp. Not that she blamed him, the few times she had ventured out of the RV she thought she'd suffocate under the curious stares and whispers. The other survivors treated her like she was some strange wounded animal they should steer clear of. She was damaged goods. Broken. The worst part was, they weren't entirely wrong.

Since she got into camp she spent most of the time in Dale's RV trying to work up the courage to be around other people. So far she'd failed miserably. She was trying to be patient with herself but her patience was quickly running thin.

Amy had been a help to her. The young woman would come and visit her every few hours. Mostly Amy talked while she listened. She told her about her sister Andrea and the epic road trip they'd been on when the world ended. She told her about the people in camp. Like Carol and her daughter Sophia and Carol's husband Ed. Everyone was sure he beat Carol. And there was Glenn, who basically served as the camp's delivery boy. Fitting considering his job as pizza delivery boy before. He would go on supply runs into the city when the camp ran out of supplies. She spoke about Lori and her little boy Carl, whose dad had been in a coma when everything went to hell. It was hard on him, but Shane- the camp's supposed leader- softened the blow. He was a friend of Carl's dad and he cared for Carl as if he was his own son. Amy suspected that Lori and Shane might have something going on. She talked about Daryl and his brother Merle. Merle was the older sibling and someone she should stay away from. Amy's stories made her feel like she knew these people. She liked Amy and appreciated her attempts to make her feel more comfortable.

A car alarm blared outside. Curious she stuck her head outside. A bright red sports car pulled to a stop near the base of the camp. Glenn stepped out with a big smile on his face. He was immediately bombarded with questions from Amy. She had been worried sick about Andrea all day.

Earlier, Glenn has gone on a supply run into the city. Normally, he would go by himself but this time, he took others with him. T-Dog, Jacqui, Andrea, Morales, and Merle Dixon had all volunteered to go. Glenn had seemed uneasy at the thought and by the look of things his instincts had been right.

A big truck pulled up and from the back the rest of the volunteers poured out. Amy and Andrea held on to each other for dear life. The Morales children ran to their father. Everyone was glad to see the volunteers' back home safe. She looked over at Carl. The boy was fighting back tears. Clearly he still held out the hope that his dad had somehow survived. Not wanting to see him cry, she turned back ready to go sit again when she heard Carl yell.

"Dad!" Curious she looked out again. Sure enough Carl was hugging a man in a police uniform. The man picked up Carl and walked towards Lori who seemed to be in a state of shock. Everyone else looked on in astonishment. She smiled to herself.

* * *

 

She sat and quietly watched the new man Rick Grimes sit with his family. She could hear the quiet conversation from her perch at the window of the RV.

"Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Disoriented. Fear, confusion…all those things but…Disoriented comes closest." Rick held Lori and Carl in his arms as he stared into the fire.

Dale shook his head. "Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short."

Rick spoke again. "I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else. For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever."

She stopped listening. Rick's words had hit a little too close to home. Shaking she turned her back to the window and pulled her knees to her chest. She breathed deeply. She knew how that felt to wake up in a strange new world; vulnerable and alone. At least Rick Grimes had the memories of his family and the hope that they were still alive to keep him going. Some days she wasn't sure why she was still alive. Probably sheer stubbornness more than anything else.

"…Daryl Dixon? He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind." She shifted to look out the window once more. Leave it to Dale to bring up the tough question. What were they going to tell Daryl? She supposed it didn't really matter. Whatever they told him she had the feeling he wouldn't react calmly to it.

Sighing she got up and stretched. She padded over to the small cot Dale allowed her to sleep in. She snuggled under the covers and settled in for another fitful night of sleep.

* * *

 

She blinked awake. Someone was yelling outside. She recognized Daryl's southern twang.

"Merle! Merle! Get your ugly ass out here! I got us some squirrel! Let's stew 'em up."

This couldn't be good. She sat up in bed; rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she yawned. She stood up and walked to the window. Daryl moved restlessly while Shane spoke to him. She couldn't quite make out what he was saying. Rick walked up to him and said something. Daryl turned around and wiped at his face. She held her breath.

"Hold on. Let me process this. You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there?"

There was a pause and then Daryl threw the rope of squirrels that had been hanging off his shoulder at Rick. Shane tackled him from the side. T-Dog dropped the firewood he had been holding and ran towards them. Daryl pulled out the knife attached to his belt. He swung at Rick like a man possessed.

Her heart was in her throat. She felt for him. He was angry, hurt and probably scared. Merle seemed to be the only person in his life and to have him ripped away so abruptly was brutal. She of all people knew what it meant to be alone in this new, violent world. She didn't wish that on anyone.

She went to the front door of the RV and stood in the entrance. Everyone was too focused on the man falling apart in front of them to notice.

Shane put Daryl in a choke-hold on the ground. "You'd best let me go!"

"I think it's better if don't," Shane answered.

"Choke-hold's illegal." Daryl choked out.

Shane grunted. "You can file a complaint." He shook Daryl a bit. "Come on man, we'll keep this up all day."

Rick bent down to Daryl's eye- level. "I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic. Do you think we can manage that?" Daryl struggled a little more. Rick raised his voice a little bit. "Do you think we can manage that?"

Daryl stared at Rick for a long moment; anger flashing in his eyes. She furrowed her brow. Daryl had just been told his brother was tied to roof and left for dead. No matter how much of a bastard Merle was, he was still Daryl's brother. She thought it was a little unfair of Rick to demand that of him right that moment. Daryl grunted the affirmative. Shane let him go. Daryl struggled to his knees.

Rick spoke firmly, "What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others."

T-Dog stepped forward. "It's not Rick's fault. I had the key. I dropped it."

Daryl looked at him incredulously, "You couldn't pick it up?"

"I dropped it in a drain."

Daryl seemed to fold in on himself. He rested his head on the ground for a moment; struggling with himself. A part of her wanted to do something for him but the other part of her was too afraid to try. Daryl stood and brushed himself off. "If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't."

"Well, maybe this will. Look, I chained the door to the roof with a padlock. So the geeks couldn't get at him," T-Dog replied.

Rick tilted his head. "It's gotta count for something."

Daryl shook his head. "Hell with all y'all! Just tell me where he is so that I can go get him." Daryl's voice cracked with emotion. He ran a frustrated hand down his face again. Pride not letting him break down and cry in front of the people that caused his pain.

"He'll show you. Isn't that right?" Lori asked Rick.

Rick nodded back gravely. "I'm going back."

Lori walked into the RV. She went back to her perch by the window. The excitement done, everyone else slowly went back to their business. She stayed at the window lost in her own head.

In the end, Glenn, T-Dog, Rick and Daryl went to retrieve Merle. Shane had been adamantly against it until he heard about the bag of guns Rick had left back in Atlanta when he'd been swarmed by a horde of walkers upon entering the city. Lori still hadn't warmed to the idea by the time they left. That had been hours ago. It was starting to get dark. She didn't think it was a good idea to be in the city after dark.

She looked over at Jim. He was tied to a tree because Shane didn't trust him enough to let him go yet. Amy had told her that he'd been digging graves all morning. When the group had gone to confront him about it because he was scaring everyone, he'd been hostile. Shane had subdued him and that was when he told everyone how he survived before coming to camp. Walkers had attacked his wife and children. The only reason he'd gotten away was because the walkers were too busy eating his family. She shuddered. His eyes met hers and he smiled. She smiled back, he didn't seem like a bad person. Just a little broken inside. He'd told Shane that he dug the holes because of a dream he had last night. He couldn't remember the dream though. She wondered if he ever would.

More often than not her thoughts strayed to Daryl. She hadn't spoken to him since he saved her. She wanted to say something, anything to make him feel better. Repay him at least a little bit for all that he had done for her. Probably best that she hadn't, she wouldn't know what to say anyway. There were only so many ways to say thank you.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Earlier that day Amy and Andrea had caught some fish. Amy had all but dragged her out of the RV, saying something about enjoying the fruits of their labor. She sat between Amy and Dale, quietly nibbling on her food.

There was a lull in the conversation. "What's your name?" Everyone looked at Carl. Carl looked at her. She swallowed.

"Carl! Mind your manners. Let her eat in peace." Lori scolded him quietly.

Carl opened his mouth to say something but Shane cut him off. "Hey," he pointed at Carl with his fork. "Listen to your mother." Carl slumped in his chair and started to pick at his food.

There was a pregnant pause. No one seemed to know what to say. "Hope." All eyes were on her now. She met Carl's eyes and smiled a bit. "My name is Hope." Her eyes fell back to her plate.

No one said a word; they seemed to be in a state of shock. This was the first time she had spoken to anyone in the camp.

Amy smiled at her, "That's a beautiful name."

Dale cleared his throat, "And we can certainly use more of that around here. I propose a toast." He raised his glass, the others followed suit. "To Hope!" They clinked glasses and laughed. She smiled slightly.

Hope tuned out the rest conversation. She glanced back at the RV. Eating dinner with the group had been nice but now she longed to go back to her little cot in the corner. Baby steps, she reminded herself, baby steps.

Amy stood up abruptly. Andrea looked up, "Where are you going?"

Amy glanced down at her, "Have to pee. Jeez, you try to be discreet around here…" The young blonde trotted to the RV.

Hope smiled. She shook her head. A few more minutes and then she would go inside.

"Are we out of toilet paper?"

Hope turned and saw Amy at the door of the RV. Her eyes widened when she saw a walker heading straight for Amy.

"Amy!" She screamed scrambling up from her chair.

The walker grabbed Amy's arm and sunk its teeth into her flesh.

Hope watched in horror as more walkers came out of the woods. How had they gotten past the string of cans that lined the camp? Why hadn't anyone heard their approach?

Chaos ensued. Everyone was screaming and yelling. People were running in different directions. Frightened and confused she wasn't sure where to go. A man pushed her onto the ground in his attempt to get away. She watched as a walker grabbed him and pulled him to the ground. The walker tore into his throat as two other walkers ripped into his limbs. She turned away and looked for a safe place to hide. She got to her knees and crawled over to baseball bat someone had left resting against a seat nearby. She stood shakily. A male walker ran towards her. She swung the bat; hitting the walker's temple. His head snapped back from the force of the blow, the momentum sending him sprawling to the ground. She brought the bat down on his skull once more, watching as it caved in; brain matter leaking onto the ground below.

"Get to the RV! Get to the RV!" She heard Shane's voice over the fray. Another walker grabbed her t-shirt; she swung her bat at him; knocking him back. She ran towards the RV. She saw Andrea kneeling next to Amy sobbing. There was blood all over Amy's neck. Hope knew that there was nothing either of them could do. If the blood loss didn't kill her, then the fever from the walker bite would. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Amy had been kind to her; she didn't deserve to die like that.

Just as soon as it started it was over. Everyone stood around waiting for more walkers to come out of the woods. Adrenaline was still coursing through their veins.

Hope dropped the bat; her shaking hands could no longer grip it tight. She looked around and saw that Rick was hugging Carl. She spotted T-Dog and Glenn nearby. Apparently they had returned just in the nick of time. Concerned she searched the small crowd of survivors for a familiar face. She met Daryl's eyes. Tears pricked the back of her eyelids. She blinked them away. They were both alive. That was good thing, wasn't it?

She heard Jim speak, "I remember my dream now, why I dug the holes." Bile rose in her throat. She met Daryl's eyes once more before retreating to the safety of the RV.


	3. Haven

Hope lay on her side staring blankly at the wall. The events of last night playing in her mind over and over. She could hear the others outside; moving bodies, smashing heads to prevent more walkers from rising. The men had searched the perimeter for more walkers or any other survivors. After that they began cleaning out the camp. A small voice in her head told her that she should be out there with them, helping. But she couldn't move; hadn't moved since she ran into the RV the night before. All night she lay there awake too numb to do anything else.

"A walker bit Jim!" Hope sat up. She walked over to the window. T-Dog had Jim in a headlock. Daryl lifted up his shirt. Sure enough there was an angry, red bite mark on Jim's abdomen. Hope closed her eyes. Not again. She didn't want to watch another person die. She put her back to the window; head resting on her knees. It was like she was stuck in some awful nightmare. She wanted to wake up. She wanted out.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hope flinched as a gunshot rang out through camp. She peeked out of the window and saw Andrea lay her gun down. Amy had finally turned. Hope lay back down again. She closed her eyes. Maybe when she woke up this nightmare would be over.

Hope didn't bother to go to the funeral for those who had fallen. She didn't know half the people that died and those she did…she didn't need to see them buried to say goodbye. A few hours ago Rick had brought Jim into the RV. Hope had given up her perch at the window so he could lay there. After that she left the RV. She had no interest in seeing a man die a slow, painful death.

It had been decided that they would go to the CDC in the hopes that maybe there was some help to be found there. The remaining survivors had been to pack up their things. Hope helped where she could; it wasn't like she had any belongings to pack herself.

When it came time to leave, the group was gathered around the vehicles. Hope was in the RV putting some water on her face before they left. Morales told everyone that he and his family were going to Birmingham. They had family there and wanted to be with them. Hope didn't blame them. Family was something to be cherished, especially now. She wondered if she had any family. Were they alive? Did they know she was alive? Did they care? Not for the first time, Hope wondered what kind of person she had been before all of this.

"Who are you?" She asked the woman staring back at her in the mirror. There was no answer. Maybe there never would be.

Hope faced a dilemma. Everyone had paired off in their own cars. She stood in the middle of camp trying to figure out who she was driving with.

"Hey!" She turned around. Daryl nodded at her, "You coming or what?" Hope nodded. She slid into the passenger seat of his pick-up truck. Daryl slammed the driver's side door as he got behind the wheel.

"Thank you," Hope said quietly.

Daryl looked over at her as he began to pull out of their campsite. "What for?"

Hope looked out of the window. "Everything."

Daryl sniffed. "Whatever," he glanced at her again. "Look I just did it because it was the right thing to do. Don't get any ideas or anything."

Hope looked at him, she smiled to herself. "I won't."

Daryl chewed on his thumb nail. He muttered something about women to himself. They drove on in silence.

The caravan had stopped when the RV's radiator hose broke. Jim -in a moment of lucidity- had asked Rick to leave him by the side of the road. Everyone gathered around him and one by one paid their respects.

Hope couldn't look Jim in the eye. She didn't feel right just leaving him there to die.

"Hope," Jim croaked. He smiled weakly. "It's all right. I'll be fine." They both knew it was a lie. "I wish I could have gotten to know you better. You seem nice."

A lump was forming in her throat. "I'm sorry," she choked out. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

Jim nodded. "I know," he coughed. "Don't give up. Not like I did."

 A tear fell onto her cheek. "I won't."

A few hours later they reached the CDC. Hope looked at the sky. It would be dark soon.

"You ready for this?" Daryl took the key out of the ignition.

"No." Hope opened the car door.

"Stay close." Daryl aimed his crossbow.

Everyone exited their vehicles. They crowded together. Warily they began to walk towards the main entrance.

Dead bodies littered the street. The stench was overwhelming. Hope watched the corpses warily; waiting for one of them to reach out and grab her. The military had put up a defensive barrier at the entrance. A tank sat on the empty street. Sandbags were piled on either side of a security booth.

As they approached the main entrance they saw that metal shutters covered the doors. Shane pounded on them. No answer. Hope's heart dropped. This was just another dead end.

"Walker!" Daryl yelled. He shot it with his crossbow. More were beginning to walk towards the group. They were about thirty feet away and getting closer by the second. Everyone began to panic. Shane began herding the group back to the cars.

"The camera… it moved." Rick pointed at a security camera over the door.

He walked towards it ignoring the pleas around him for them to leave. Rick looked at the camera. He pleaded with it. Hope wasn't sure what to do. She was terrified; the memory of Jim and Amy still fresh in her mind.

"You're killing us!" Rick yelled at the camera. Shane pushed Rick away from the door back towards the cars. "You're killing us!"

Suddenly, the doors opened bathing the survivors in a bright white light.

* * *

 

Hope sat quietly at the table nibbling on her dinner. The rest of the group chattered and laughed, overjoyed at another chance at life.

When the doors had opened Hope didn't know what to expect. She'd been so frozen with fear at first; she couldn't get her legs to move. Daryl had practically dragged her inside. Dr. Jenner had made everyone get a blood test. Hope didn't mind; what was a little blood after everything she'd been through.

A loud laugh tore her from her thoughts. She smiled at Carl's disgusted face. She didn't favor wine herself; if her full glass was anything to go by.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Dr. Jenner. He sat quietly a few feet away from her, lost in thought. She wondered what he was thinking about. Whatever it was, she could see it weighed heavily on his mind.

Rick tapped his glass. He stood, "Seems to me like we haven't properly thanked our host." He lifted his glass and everyone else followed.

"He is more than just our host," said T-Dog.

Daryl held up his wine bottle, "Booyah!"

Dr. Jenner raised his glass and nodded. He didn't seem entirely comfortable with the group's praise.

"Hey Doc," Shane spoke over the chorus of voices. Everyone quieted. "You wanna tell us what the hell happened here?"

Rick gave Shane a pointed look, "We don't need to do this now."

Shane focused on his wine glass. He took a sip. "We came here for answers didn't we?"

Jenner cleared his throat. "Well, when things got bad a lot of people just left. They went off to be with their families." He took a breath, "And when things got worse, a lot of people bolted."

Shane chuckled in disbelief. "Everyone? They just ran."

Jenner looked at Shane, "No. Some people couldn't face walking out of the door." He paused. "They…opted out."

Hope rubbed her arms against the sudden chill. She sipped from her glass of water. Opted out, it sounded so simple; like checking a box on a survey.

Glenn sighed at Shane. "Dude, you are such a buzz kill."

Hope smiled faintly.

* * *

 

Dr. Jenner led them down a hallway. He explained that most of the facility was powered down. The offices in zone five were the only places to sleep as housing had been powered down as well. Everyone had been delighted to hear that the hot water was working.

Hope chose a room at random. She sat on the sofa, waiting until everyone else finished showering. The bruises were still healing. It was bad enough she couldn't hide the ones on her arms. And the scars…she couldn't even look at them yet. Besides, being naked around anyone wasn't particularly appealing.

Looking around she sighed. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to get to sleep. Not with pictures of Jim and Amy constantly popping up behind her eyelids.

Sometime later Hope stood up. The others should have been done by now. She passed by the rec room on her way to the showers. She furrowed her brow as she got closer. The door to the rec room was closed. She heard a scream on the other side.

"Sha-," Hope flinched. It sounded like Lori's voice. Was that Shane in there with her?

The door opened. She stumbled back. Shane looked at her in surprise. Hope saw scratches on the side of his neck. He followed her gaze. Behind him she saw Lori, standing by one of the game machines. She looked shaken. Hope stepped back. She knew that look. She'd been staring at it in the mirror since she got into camp. What had Shane done?

Shane smiled at her. He stepped closer, invading her personal space. "I thought you were sleeping."

She squared her shoulders, lifting her chin up in defiance. "I'm not." She looked at Lori, "Rick's looking for you." It was a lie, but Shane didn't know that.

At the mention of Rick's name, Shane flinched. He mumbled a goodnight and brushed past her. She met Lori's eyes. "Are you okay?"

Lori wiped at her face and nodded. "Yes. I'm fine."

Hope gave her a small nod. She turned to leave.

"Hope," Lori called out.

Hope turned around.

"Thank you."

Hope ducked her head. She hurried down the hall, content to hide in her room all night.

* * *

 

_There was a pounding in her head. A steady beat she felt in her bones. Groaning she rolled onto her side. Clutching her head she felt something warm and slippery on her fingers. Opening her eyes she saw her fingers were stained red. Blood. Gingerly she probed her temple hissing when she came in contact with the wound. Looking around she saw that she was in a hospital room. Was it her hospital room? Where were the doctors? Looking down at herself she found her answer. She was a doctor. If the white lab coat and badge were anything to go by. She unclipped the badge from her breast pocket. Hope Lawson, MD. Washington Hospital Center. Her brow furrowed. She didn't remember being a doctor. In fact, she realized in a panic, she couldn't remember anything._

_Hope reached for the hospital bed. Grabbing the handle she hoisted herself up. The room spun; she closed her eyes, fighting a wave of nausea._

_"Hope." She turned around. A walker was walking towards her. Blood stained his police officer's uniform. His stomach had three bullet holes in it. His eyes were cold and dead. He looked like a walker but he shouldn't be talking, walkers couldn't talk._

_"Hope."_

_Hope scrambled backwards. How did he know her name? Her back hit the wall. He kept advancing._

_"Hope!" She covered her ears. The pounding in her head was back. Louder and louder, she could feel it in her bones. She closed her eyes. Hands gripped her. She did the only thing she could think of, she screamed._

"Hope! Wake up dammit! Hope!"

Pain blossomed on her cheek. She blinked open her eyes. Daryl's face hovered above her.

"Did you see him?"

"See who?" Daryl looked around.

"The walker, he was right there," Hope pointed at the wall. "Did you see him?" Hope gripped Daryl's shirt.

Daryl furrowed his brow. "What walker?" He pulled her hands from his shirt. "How much did you have to drink last night?"

Disoriented she looked around. She wasn't in the hospital room anymore. Where had the man gone? Hope sat up. She touched her cheek. "Did you hit me?"

Daryl sat back on his haunches. He shrugged, "How else was I supposed to wake you up? You were screaming so loud I thought I would go deaf."

She rubbed the sore spot. She already had a collection of bruises. What was one more? "Did I wake anyone?"

"Nah, they're all in mess hall eating breakfast." He plucked at some imaginary lint on his pants. "That's why I was here. I was checking if you wanted breakfast."

Hope's stomach churned at the thought of food but she nodded anyway. After the dream she had, she didn't want to be alone.

Daryl stood up. "All right, let's go." He reached out a hand to help her up. She stared at it for a minute. Hesitantly she took it. He pulled her up from the floor.

He sniffed. "You might wanna take a shower first, you stink."

Hope smiled wryly. "Speak for yourself Dixon."

* * *

 

"Thank you," Hope smiled politely at T-Dog as he served her some eggs. She chuckled quietly at Glenn. He was hunched over his plate, moaning into his breakfast. Jacqui rubbed his back soothingly. "Don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again."

She'd taken Daryl's advice and had showered before coming down to breakfast. She felt a little better but not much. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling of dread that had settled in the pit of her stomach.

Rick called out a greeting to Shane as he walked in. "You feel as bad as I do?"

"Worse," Shane grunted. He washed his hands.

Hope's eyes flew to Lori. Lori kept her eyes down; focused on her food. She stopped eating.

"What the hell happened to your neck?" T-Dog asked Shane.

"Not sure, must've done it in my sleep."

Rick looked at Shane. "Never seen you do that before."

Shane sat down. "Neither have I," he gave Lori a meaningful look. "It's not like me at all."

Hope's eyes narrowed.

"Morning," Dr. Jenner said as he walked towards the table.

Dale turned around. "Doctor I don't mean to bombard you with questions first thing in the morning…"

"But you will anyway."

Andrea turned around. "We didn't come here for the eggs."


	4. Time

Hope watched the screen in the big room with rapt attention.

"What are those lights?" Someone asked behind her.

"Synapses." Hope responded mechanically. She was too busy staring at the screen to notice the strange looks she was getting.

"Go on."

Hope looked at Jenner. He nodded slightly.

She cleared her throat. "They're electrical impulses that send messages throughout the brain… they're what make us human."

"Exactly." Dr. Jenner looked at Hope for a long moment.

"How do you know that?" asked Glenn.

"I don't know." Hope ducked her head; uncomfortable with all the attention.

"Scan forward to the first event."

"Scanning forward to the first event," the computer responded.

Glenn's voice came from somewhere behind her. "What is that?

Jenner pointed to the screen. "It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage; the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs. Then death."

Hope watched as Test Subject-19 slowly succumbed to death. She hugged herself, memories of the last few days echoing in her mind.

"Scan forward to the second event."

The computer responded once more. Jenner went on, "The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes."

Hope thought back to Lawrence and how quickly he had turned. She shivered, remembering his dead hand gripping her ankle. She met Daryl's eyes from across the room. He hadn't forgotten Lawrence either.

"It restarts the brain?"Lori asked incredulously.

"No, just the brain stem…basically it gets them up and moving."

Rick walked towards Jenner. "But they're not alive?"

Jenner turned towards Rick, "You tell me."

No, that wasn't living. They were alive but they weren't living. It was an important distinction. One she was all too familiar with. Walkers may have been people once but everything that made them human was gone; their thoughts, feelings…memories.

Hope flinched when she saw the bullet go through TS-19's skull. Her mind flashed to her dream and the walker that had spoken to her, reached out for her. She turned away from the screen. She'd had enough.

Andrea folded her arms over her chest. "You have no idea what it is, do you?"

Jenner looked down. "It could viral, microbial, parasitic, fungal-"

"Or the wrath of God," Jacqui finished for him.

"There is that."

"Somebody must know something," Andrea insisted, "Somebody, somewhere."

"There are others right?" Carol asked, "Other facilities?"

"There may be some…people like me."

"You don't know? How can you not know?" Rick asked, incredulity coloring his tone.

"Everything went down; communications, directives, all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month."

"So it's not just here. There's nothing left anywhere. Nothing, that's what you're really saying, right?" Andrea crossed her arms over her chest.

Hope closed her eyes. So, this really was the end of the world. She thought back to what Jim said. Suddenly, that promise seemed so much harder to keep.

"Man I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk."

Hope thought Daryl had the right idea. She walked out of the room not bothering to stay for Dale's question.

 

* * *

 

Hope lay on her side, on the couch, in her room. She wasn't sleeping, just resting her eyes. The hum of the AC was a welcome change to the usual silence that accompanied her in these quiet moments.

That is, until it stopped.

She opened her eyes. The room was dark. She hadn't turned the lights off.

She sat up and swallowed; anxiety churning in her stomach.

Hope opened the door to her room as Jenner passed by. The rest of the group bombarded him with questions. They followed him as he walked toward the big room.

When they hit the staircase the group met up with Rick, Shane, Glenn and T-Dog. Rick asked what was happening.

"The system is dropping all the non-essential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second. That starts as we approach the half-hour mark," he pointed to a clock counting down, "Right on schedule."

Hope felt nauseous. She wasn't sure what would happen when the time ran out but something told her she didn't want to find out. Jenner looked far too calm. He had given up. On everything.

"We should leave," she said quietly. Daryl looked over at her.

Jenner continued into the room. "It was the French."

"What?" Andrea asked.

"They were the last to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end. They thought they were close to a solution." He trotted up the stairs and walked towards a work station.

"What happened?" Jacqui breathed.

Jenner turned around, "The same thing that's happening here; no power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?"

Pretty damn stupid in her opinion.

Rick turned to the group. "Lori, grab our things. Everyone get your stuff. We're getting out of here now!"

Hope trotted to the door. An alarm sounded. She paused just outside the entrance.

"Thirty minutes until decontamination," the computer stated. She saw Jenner key something into a keypad. She heard a mechanical sound and then the door shut in her face; trapping the rest of the group inside the big room.

Hope blinked at the door in confusion. Had Jenner locked the others in? She pounded on the door; the dull thud reverberated around the empty hallway. Hope pressed her back to the door. Sliding down until she sat; knees bent. She dropped her head into her hands. What was she supposed to do now? How was she going to get out?

She took a shaky breath; fighting back the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. She had to get out. Staying was simply not an option. The computer had said that decontamination would start in thirty minutes. She couldn't waste time. If she was going to do anything it had to be now.

Hope looked at the empty hall. Supplies, she would need supplies. A rush of guilt went through her. She didn't want to steal from the group but if she was going to make it out alive she needed to be practical. She wouldn't make it far without any clothes, food, or weapons.

The doors to everyone's rooms were open. She passed each room collecting any and all useful belongings she could find. Glenn's room was first. She found a flashlight and an extra pair of sneakers. T-Dog's room was a bust and so was Jacqui's. Andrea's room had a pair of pants and a shirt. Daryl had an extra hunting knife and she took Shane's watch from his room. By the time she was done she had a bag full. She checked the watch. Twenty minutes left.

She ran towards the stairs and began her ascent to the top. It was long and difficult, considering how far they were under ground. She ran as fast as she could but it still didn't seem fast enough. She glanced at the watch. Fifteen minutes left. She ran faster.

Hope was out of breath by the time she reached the top. She dropped the bags and bent forward; hands resting on her knees. She checked the watch: ten minutes left. She dropped her head. If the others weren't out now, they would never get out of here on time. She dragged the bags to the front door. She went to the keypad. She couldn't make sense of it. Shaking her head she looked around. There were windows everywhere; if she could just break one…She remembered the gun. But she didn't know how to use it. She spotted a chair behind the front desk. She ran to it. Grabbing it she walked to the window. She hit the window with all her might. It didn't even make a scratch. She tried again and again until her arms dropped in exhaustion. Frustrated tears pricked her eyes.

She walked back to the front door. Resting her head against it she closed her eyes.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing. She'd been living on borrowed time anyway. Why was she so surprised that the time she had was almost up?

"Let's go! Open those doors!"

Hope looked up in shock as T-Dog, Shane, Daryl and Rick came barreling towards her.

Daryl grabbed her arm. "Come on!"

Hope sprung into action. She hung the bag over her shoulder and watched as the Daryl and Shane tried to break the windows with their axes.

"Watch out!" T-Dog yelled as he tried to break the window with a chair.

Shane loaded his gun, "Get down! Get down!"

Hope put her hands over her ears. He fired; the bullet bounced uselessly against the glass.

"Rick, I have something that might help." Carol hurried over to Rick.

"Carol, I don't think a nail files gonna do it," Shane remarked snidely.

"The first morning when I washed your uniform," she fished the grenade out of her bag. She handed it to him. "I found this in your pocket."

Rick took the grenade, surprise coloring his features. He ran towards the window. "Look out!"

Hope ducked against the floor by the wall. Sophia lay next to her trembling in fear. Hope covered her ears. Rick pulled the pin out of the grenade. He threw it towards the window. He ran towards them; ducking out of the way before the grenade went off. There was a brief pause and then a deafening boom. She heard shattering glass.

"Let's move!"

The group scrambled up; desperate to get through the open window and out to safety. Hope grabbed the bag and headed for the window. Daryl helped her jump down. The group ran towards the caravan. Hope glanced at her watch: One minute left. Her legs pumped faster.

She reached Daryl's truck, Daryl not far behind her. She got into the passenger seat and slammed the door. She looked at her watch ten seconds left.

Rick honked the horn of the RV. She looked up and saw Dale and Andrea running towards them.

"Get down!" Daryl yelled.

Hope bent sideways, her chest slamming into the gear stick. She felt Daryl's breath on the back of her neck. She closed her eyes, nausea rolling through her.

There was a breathless moment of silence. She winced as the explosion tore through the air. Hope couldn't breathe; the air was thick and hot. Her ears were ringing and for one terrifying moment she thought that this might be it. This could be the end.

Then it was over. The blast died down. Daryl moved off of her. She sat up. Hope watched numbly as their fleeting safe haven collapsed in on itself. She folded her knees onto the seat and leaned her head against the window. She said nothing as Daryl started the truck. She looked out of the window and let the tears fall freely on her cheeks.


	5. Miles To Go

Hope watched numbly as the trees whizz past her. The caravan wasted no time in leaving what was left of the CDC. The sound attracted more walkers.

She wasn't sure how far away they were from Atlanta. But it was far enough that the cement and steel of the city turned into trees and grass of the country. The sun was starting to set; the red and orange hues reminding her of the flames that engulfed the CDC.

She wiped miserably at her face and sniffled. She couldn't seem to stop crying.

Daryl glanced over at Hope. "You hurt?"

Hope shook her head.

Daryl focused on the road once more. A few moments passed in silence. Her sniffles breaking the quiet. Daryl shifted in his seat. He'd rather face a horde of walkers than be trapped in a truck with a crying woman. He glanced over at her again. He should say something. Try to make her feel better. Maybe then she'd stop crying.

He cleared his throat. "It's gonna be all right." Awkwardly he reached out to pat her shoulder. She flinched.

Hope looked at him. "Is it?"

Daryl didn't have an answer for that. They silence stretched like miles between them.

After driving a while longer the caravan finally pulled to a stop alongside the road. Everyone parked in a circle; effectively creating a small blockade should any walkers pass by. One by one everyone exited their cars. They gathered in the center of the camp. Hope stayed inside the truck. She didn't want to move just yet. Daryl stayed inside too. He gave no explanation just turned the engine off and sat back. Neither of them spoke. Dale was right. Words really could be meager things.

Sometime later Daryl yawned and stretched. He cracked his neck. "I need some air." She didn't bother to look away from the window; she was watching the others sit quietly around the campfire. Melancholy coloring the silence.

Hope heard a thud against the hood of the truck. She peered curiously of the windshield as Daryl clambered onto the roof. A few seconds later she was staring at his upside down face. He knocked twice on the roof and mouthed 'come on'. She sighed and opened her door. A minute later she was sitting next to Daryl on the roof of his truck.

"Where's Jacqui?"

The question startled Daryl. Hope hadn't said a word in hours. He coughed slightly. "She, uh," he fumbled for the right words. "She stayed with Jenner in the CDC."

Hope looked at him and then looked down. She picked at her cuticles. "Maybe they had the right idea."

She could feel Daryl's gaze on her face. She didn't meet his eyes. "Nah, way I see it we've survived this long. It'd be stupid to give up now. I'm gonna keep fighting till' my last breath and then I'll fight some more. Take some of those dead bastards with me." He leaned back on his elbows.

Hope sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Course' I am."

There was a pregnant pause.

"What happened to you?"

Hope blinked in confusion. "What?"

"You weren't running around those woods with no shoes on for no reason."

Hope looked down and sighed. She'd seen this coming. She was surprised she hadn't gotten this question sooner. "I was running from him."

"I figured that."

"He kept me down there for a month. He had a friend and they would-" Hope took a shaky breath. She swallowed thickly. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Daryl nodded. "You never talk about what life was like…before."

"Neither do you."

"That's cause' there ain't shit to talk about. I wasn't anybody and I wasn't going anywhere."

She frowned and picked at her thumbnail. "I don't remember anything before a month ago. It's like someone went in my head and bleached my brain. I don't know where my house is, what my favorite foods are, where my family lives, if I was married. Nothing, it's all gone. I don't even know how to tie my shoe." Daryl looked down and saw the laces tucked inside her shoe.

"I'll teach you."

Hope looked at Daryl. "What?"

"You heard me. I'll teach you. I went through all the trouble of saving you. It'd be downright embarrassing if you tripped and fell on a knife or something.

Hope giggled. "That happen often?"

"You know what I mean." Daryl faced Hope. "Whatever you need to learn, I'll teach you."

Hope smiled. "Thank you."

"Whatever."

* * *

 

Sleep eluded her that night and what little she got was interrupted by a nightmare. She woke up in the truck with a hand on her mouth.

"It's just dream. It's just a dream. Stop screaming. You're gonna wake everybody up," Daryl whispered.

Hope pushed violently at his hand; still in the nightmare's grips. She punched at his chest and kicked his legs. He grunted and dropped his hand from her mouth. She curled up with her back to the window breathing harshly.

"Sorry, didn't know how else to get you to quiet down. You were gonna wake everyone up." Daryl seemed almost as shaken as she was.

"I know, I just, I thought you were Lawrence. He…they-" she said her heart finally slowing down. "I don't like being touched." She looked straight at him. "Please don't do that again," she said her voice small.

Daryl nodded, "Promise." He grinned a bit. "Next time I'll just throw some cold water on you."

Despite the dread that made her stomach cramp and her palms sweat, Hope laughed.

A few hours later Daryl pulled into an abandoned gas station alongside Dale's RV. Daryl killed the engine. Rick got out of his car he signaled to Shane and Daryl. They got out and quickly scanned the area. After a few moments they gave the okay and the other survivors left their vehicles.

Hope took a deep breath and opened the truck door. She examined the group as she walked towards them. Andrea, Dale, Glenn, T-Dog, Lori, Carl, Shane, Rick, Daryl and she were all that were left.

"What do we do now?" Glenn's voice shook.

Rick looked at the group. They were scared. He was scared. Yesterday the rug had been pulled right from under them. Their only safe haven had gone up in flames.

Everyone looked to him for an answer. "Fort Benning is our only option at this point."

"We'll need supplies," Dale replied.

Rick looked around. The gas station had a small convenience store and a few cars on the other side of the lot. There was large sign on the door of the store it read: NO GAS HERE. "We'll take what supplies we can get from here. Anything else we'll find on the way. Lori, Carol, Andrea, see what supplies we have and move them into the RV. Glenn, T-Dog, check those cars over there and siphon as much fuel as you can. Dale you're with me and Shane. I wanna see exactly what route we'll take. And we're going to have to get rid of some of these cars too. Hope," she looked up from the ground. "Go see what supplies you can gather from the store." She nodded. "Daryl you go with her."

Everyone dispersed. Daryl walked towards the store, Hope trailed behind him. He opened the door carefully; his ever present crossbow aimed and ready to fire. Hope walked warily behind him. She grabbed a shopping basket from besides the door.

Daryl walked a few feet in front of her. "Stay behind me," he said without looking back.

Hope swallowed, "Okay." From what she could see there wasn't much to be looted from the store.

Quietly she began loading up her basket with food. She checked the expiration dates and for the most part the food was okay. It was mostly stale chips, trail mix and cookies. She got mildly excited when she saw the occasional can of spaghetti and meatballs. Once the first basket was full she deposited it outside. Daryl had long since swept the store and found nothing. He waited idly by the counter.

She worked quickly and about thirty minutes later she was done with all of the aisles. She even organized the baskets so some had food and others had supplies like batteries, flashlights, tape, and other stuff.

She stretched her tired muscles. The task had been just what she needed. Daryl hadn't offered to help and to be honest she hadn't wanted him to. It was good to turn off her brain for a while and just focus on something.

"Don't forget to check behind the counter."

She started a bit at Daryl's voice. She nodded and retrieved another basket.

There wasn't much behind the counter, just a small metal box. She opened it. Inside were a small handgun and a box of bullets. She put it on the counter. Daryl peered inside.

"You know how to shoot?"

Hope looked up startled. "What? I-no," she shook her head. "I don't think so," she frowned. "I'm not sure."

He shrugged. "It's easy you just point and shoot."

She looked at it.

"Take it. I'll teach you how to use it."

She glanced at him unsure.

"You really wanna be walking around without a something to protect yourself? Take it."

He had a point. Hope picked up the gun. The weight of it felt vaguely familiar, comfortable. A memory fluttered just on the edge of her mind. A target dummy in front of her, a warm comfortable presence behind her. Steady hands and a soothing voice in her ear. It disappeared a moment later.

Daryl pointed to the gun. "Here's the safety. You click that to turn it off."

Hope clicked it on and off a few times.

"When you take aim, hold it like this." Daryl cautiously moved his hands toward hers. Her eyes flicked to his. She nodded slowly. He placed her right hand on the grip. Her index finger automatically went into the trigger guard. He then slowly took her left hand and placed it around her right, supporting it from under. Her right thumb rested over her left. "Put your arms out straight. Shoulders back, legs out about shoulders width. Yeah, like that." Daryl moved back from the counter.

Hope breathed; the tightness in her chest slowly dissipating. She checked the safety once more and then stuffed the gun in the back of her pants. She put the box of bullets in the basket. "I'm finished."

"Let's go."

Daryl and Hope walked over to the RV where Lori, Andrea and Carol were putting away supplies.

"Nice," said Lori as Hope handed her a basket. She turned to Carl who was a few feet away. "Carl! Look what Hope found." She picked up a can of ravioli and showed it to him.

Carl beamed. "Awesome!"

Hope smiled.

"Daryl! We could use some help over here!" Rick waved from across the lot.

Daryl glanced at Hope. "Gotta go."

Hope nodded. "Okay." 

He lingered a moment longer, shuffling from foot to foot. He opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it. He turned on his heel and walked away. Hope stared curiously after him.

Lori and Carol shared a long look with each other, small smiles on their lips.

Hope stood for a moment unsure of what to do next.

"Hope?"

Hope turned to Lori.

Lori smiled. "Can you help me organize these supplies?"

Hope walked over to her glad for something to do. She threw herself into the task blocking out everything else.

* * *

 

Though sleep had eluded her once again the night before Hope was up at dawn with the rest of the survivors. Everyone was eager to get on the road to Ft. Benning. Daryl had taken his brother's bike from the back of his truck, so Hope would be riding in the RV with Glenn, Andrea, Shane, T-Dog and Dale. Lori, Rick, Carl, Sophia, and Carol would ride in the Grimes car.

"You're Hope, right?"

Hope glanced at Glenn. She nodded. He'd been working up the courage to ask that question ever since he got into the RV. That had been an hour ago.

"I'm Glenn," he reached out to give her a handshake from across the table. "It's nice to meet you. Of-officially I mean." He smiled nervously. His eyes kept flitting between the scars on her wrist and the bruises on her face and arms.

Hope stared at his hand. She met his eyes and smiled politely before dropping her eyes back to the book Dale had given her to read.

Shane and Andrea laughed quietly at Glenn's awkward introduction.

"So how did you find our camp?"

Shane and Andrea stopped laughing.

Hope froze in her seat. She swallowed. "Daryl…found me in the woods. He brought me back to camp."

Glenn furrowed his brow. "Really? Daryl, helped you?"

Just then Daryl appeared next to the RV for a moment. Hope caught his eyes through the window for the briefest of moments before he revved the engine and pulled away. She continued to look out of the window. "He saved my life."

"Oh. Cool." Glenn stood up and shuffled awkwardly to the passenger seat.

Hope heard a loud pop and then the RV slowed to a stop. After her little chat with Glenn, she had moved to her old perch in the back of the RV. It freaked her out a little that Jim had spent some of his dying moments there, but she wasn't ready to give up the small niche she'd carved out for herself. Besides the few hours of peace and quiet had been good for her, but of course all good things came to an end eventually. She just wished it hadn't been so soon.

Hope squinted her eyes as she walked out of the RV. The sun was bright and warm again her eyes against her skin. She savored the feeling; leaning her head back with her eyes closed. 

"Come on, y'all. Look around. Collect what you can." Shane passed her on his way into the RV.

Hope looked for Daryl and saw him walking away with T-Dog. She trotted towards him. "Can I help?"

Daryl glanced back at her. "You know how to siphon fuel from a car?"

"No."

Daryl stopped short. He looked her up and down for a moment. He smirked. "Guess that's one more thing I'll have to teach you."

Hope grinned.

T-Dog watched the exchange curiously. Daryl caught him staring. He brushed past him. "What the hell are you staring at?"

 

* * *

Hope heard a sharp whistle of alarm. Daryl who had been a few feet behind her was waving her to him. She dropped the book bag full of stuff she'd been carrying and jogged towards him. When she got near he pulled her down to kneel alongside him.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

Daryl put a finger to his lips. He pointed towards the RV. Hope looked at it confused. Then she saw it; a walker. She looked at Daryl. Why didn't they just shoot it? He pointed again. Her heart dropped. There were more, a lot more. Daryl tugged on her elbow. He was pointing under the car. His meaning was clear; she was supposed to hide under the car. She crawled under the car under the car expecting Daryl to be right behind her but he wasn't. He was already out of her sight before she could ask where he was going.

As the minutes passed Hope began to panic. She was alone, under a car and she couldn't see any of the group. There would be no one to help her if she got into trouble.

She smelled the herd long before they shuffled by her car. The stench of rotting flesh and death overwhelmed her. Hope wanted to gag but fear made her throat clench. She tried to stay as still as possible, praying to whatever god was listening that the walkers didn't notice her presence under the car.

It seemed like it would never end. The groans of the walkers reverberated in her skull making her skin crawl. Memories of Amy, Jim, Lawrence, and the walker from her dream had her pulse pounding in fear. She was ready, alert. Muscles tense, waiting for the first sign of danger; the first sign to run.

It never came. The herd shuffled off down the highway. Hope didn't move; the fear of any stragglers staying her twitching legs. She wondered how the others were doing.

She got her answer a few moments later when she heard a scream. It sounded like a little girl. Sophia. The screaming faded and the highway was eerily quiet. She heard nothing but the sound of her own breath. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her wrist. Hope screamed and punched out her arm.

"Shit! What the hell?!" Daryl yelped.

Hope scrambled out from under the car. "Sorry! I didn't know it was you."

Daryl spit blood onto the ground. "It's all right, nothing's broken." He wiped his mouth and looked at her. "I didn't expect you to come out swinging."

Hope winced. "Sorry."

"Forget it. Come on, you need to stay by the RV we don't need to lose any more people."

"Any more people? I heard a scream. Was it Sophia? Did she get bit?"

"I don't know. A walker chased her into the woods. Rick went after her."

Hopes response was cut off when they finally arrived at the RV. The group was standing around unsure of what to do next. Lori and Carol were standing at the side of the road. Lori was holding Carol.

"Do you think he'll find her?" Hope looked up at Daryl.

Daryl looked at her. "Yeah, he'll find her."

Hope nodded. She just hoped that Sophia would be all right when he did.


	6. Lost

"Did you find her?"

Hope heard Carol's voice from outside the RV. She poked her head outside and saw Shane and Glenn walking towards Carol.

Shane shook his head. "Rick and Daryl are still looking."

Carol's shoulders shook. The poor woman looked ready to crumble at any minute.

Rick put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, they'll find her."

Carol nodded shakily. She remained where she'd been all day, keeping vigil by the side of the road.

Shane put his hands on his hips and sighed. "In the meantime, let's keep looking for supplies. Dale, you keep working on that radiator hose. I want us to be ready to move when Rick comes back. Come on, get to it!"

The group returned to the tasks at hand. Hope yawned. She guessed her break was officially over. Stretching her arms up over her head, she grunted. The release of tension in her tired muscles was a welcome relief. She heard a gasp. She looked over at Glenn. His eyes were glued to the still healing bite and scratch marks that peppered her stomach. She pulled her shirt down. The freshest ones were no longer tender to the touch. Most of them had faded into light pink scars. It was strange, for a moment she'd forgotten they were there.

Hope walked away before he could say anything. When she was a good distance away she slumped next to a car, her hands resting on her knees. She felt a drop of water on her hand. Curious, she glanced up at the sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight. She looked down at her hand again; another drop. She tasted salt on her lips. She touched her cheek and felt the wetness there. Angrily she wiped at her face. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't cry anymore. Lawrence was dead and gone. He couldn't hurt her anymore. Not physically anyway.

"Hope!"

Hope looked up and saw Glenn waving for her to come back. Sighing she walked over to him.

"Is something wrong?"

Glenn shifted nervously. "Shane wants me to load up some of these water bottles we found into the cars. I could use some help."

Hope wiped sweat from her brow. "Okay."

Glenn smiled and trotted towards the water delivery truck. He grabbed one of the water bottles and began to pull it out of its compartment. He grunted with the effort. Hope hurried over to help. They both sighed with relief as they dropped the bottle on the ground with a small thud.

Glenn groaned. "This isn't going to be easy is it?"

Hope glared balefully at the hot sun beaming down on their heads. "Is it ever?"

* * *

 

Hope gripped her stomach. She gasped for air as tears flowed from her eyes. "I can't breathe!"

"What the hell are y'all laughing at?" Hope looked up to see Shane hovering above her and Glenn. The pair's giggles were silenced immediately.

Glenn scrambled up from the ground where he'd fallen down in laughter moments before. "Uh, I was-we were…" he ducked his head. "Nothing?"

Shane arched his eyebrow. "You finish loading up them water bottles?"

"Yes! Yes, we did. Right Hope?" Glenn turned back to face her.

She responded with a sharp nod. Glenn sighed, back to the silent treatment. Shane was such a buzz kill.

"I need your help moving some cars off the road. Come on."

Glenn glanced at Hope as if asking for permission.

Hope shrugged.

Shane pointed at her with his chin. "You too, we need all the help we can get." He walked away.

Glenn reached out a hand to help her up from the ground. Hope smiled but ignored it in favor of the car she'd been sitting next to. Glenn's smile faded a bit.

"It's nothing personal. I just don't like to be touched."

Glenn opened his mouth to ask her about it but then thought better of it.

She smiled to herself. There might be hope for him yet.

* * *

 

"Where's my gun? You have no right to take it."

Hope glanced over at Andrea as she walked towards Dale. Hope was helping Glenn pack up a crate of food a few feet away.

Dale wouldn't meet Andrea's eyes. "You don't need that just now. Do you?"

"My father gave it me. It's mine."

"I can hold on to it for you."

"Or you can give it back to me."

Shane walked over to them. "Everything cool?"

Andrea turned to him. "No, I want my gun back."

Dale glanced back at Shane. "I don't think that is a good idea right now."

Shane looked at Dale. "Why not?"

Dale paused then looked Shane in the eye. "I'm not comfortable with it."

Andrea scoffed. She folded her arms over her chest and looked at Shane.

Shane kept his eyes on Dale. "Truth is, less guns we have floating around camp the better."

Andrea tilted her head. "You turning over your weapon?"

Shane chuckled. "No, but I'm trained, in its use. That's what the rest of y'all need is proper training but until that time I think it's best that Dale keeps them all accounted for."

Andrea rolled her eyes and walked away.

Shane put his fingers through the belt loops on his pants. "You mind telling what that was about?" He whispered to Dale.

"Awkward." Glenn muttered.

Hope chuckled quietly. She felt a little bit guilty. Dale might have gotten his hands on Andrea's gun but he hadn't found hers. In fact, she was sure that no one in the group besides Daryl knew she had a gun. That was just the way things would stay if Daryl had anything to do with it. She knew he was right; the last thing she wanted to be was weaponless in world crawling with walkers.

Glenn put the crate he was carrying on the ground. "Oh God, they're back."

Hope looked over to see Rick and Daryl emerge from the forest. A flutter of relief went through her stomach when she that Daryl wasn't hurt. Her heart sunk a little when she didn't see Sophia.

"You didn't find her." Carol's voice wavered.

Rick stopped in front of Carol. "Her trail went cold. We'll pick it up again at first light."

Carol was near tears. "You can't leave my daughter out there on her own; to spend the night in the woods alone."

Daryl spoke softly to Carol. "The dark's no good. We'll just be tripping over ourselves. More people will get lost."

"But she's twelve! She can't be out there on her own. You didn't find anything?" Lori placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Rick spoke calmly to her. "I know this is hard but I'm asking you not to panic. We know she was out there."

"We tracked her for a while," Daryl piped up.

Rick spoke to the group. "We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I've asked him to oversee this."

Carol was practically hyperventilating. She spotted blood on Daryl's pants. "Is-is that blood?"

Daryl and Rick shared a look. "We took down a walker," Rick replied.

"Walker…oh my God."

Rick grabbed Carol's shoulder. "There was no sign that it was anywhere near Sophia."

"How can you know that?" Hope looked at Andrea. What was she thinking? They were trying to calm Carol down not rile her up more.

Rick looked at Daryl as if he was unsure of what to say. Daryl spoke for him. "We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure."

Carol's knees buckled and she sat on the guardrail. Lori sat with her. Carol looked at Rick with disgust. "How could you just leave her out there to begin with?"

Rick looked confused.

"How could you leave her?"

"Those two walkers were on us. I had to draw them off it was her best chance," Rick pleaded with her; begging her to understand.

Shane moved to stand by Rick. "Sounds like he didn't have a choice Carol."

"How is she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child. She's just a child."

"I-It was my only option. The only choice I could make."

"I'm sure nobody doubts that." Shane said.

"My little girl got left in the woods." Carol whimpered.

Rick hung his head. Slowly he got up and walked away. Hope swallowed the lump in her throat. Was this life now? A series of fucked up situations in this shitty world?

* * *

 

"Do you mind if I come up?"

Dale looked down from his perch atop the RV. Hope was standing next to the ladder, pillow in hand. He smiled. "Of course."

Hope smiled back and quickly climbed up.

"Are you sleeping up here tonight?"

Hope set her pillow on the opposite end of the roof. She turned and sat with her legs. "Yeah, if you don't mind that is?"

"Not at all."

Silence stretched between them but neither felt the need to fill it. Hope was mildly comfortable around Dale. He'd been the one to help her that first day. He never pushed her boundaries or made her uncomfortable. Overall she liked Dale, he was a good man.

"Goodnight Andrea." Dale called down.

Andrea said nothing as she went inside the RV. Dale sighed and plopped down on his beach chair. Hope laid her head on the pillow. She watched the stars in the sky. Ever since Daryl had showed her some constellations she loved looking at the stars. Even if she was sure he'd made most of them up. She was positive the "weird nipple" wasn't an actual constellation.

"She's angry with me."

"I know."

"Is it that obvious?"

Hope shrugged. "Kind of…what happened back there?"

"At the CDC? Andrea was devastated after Amy died. She'd been struggling and Jenner's offer seemed…appealing. She chose to stay. I told her that if she wanted to stay then so would I. Then we got out of there."

Hope said nothing.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

"I can hear you thinking from here."

Hope snorted. "I think she feels cheated. She made a choice to stay and you forced her to go."

"But…I saved her."

"I don't think she sees it that way." Hope rolled onto her side. She punched at the pillow to fluff it up. "She's a grown woman, Dale. She can make her own decisions. Whether or not you agree with them, they're still hers to make."

Dale stayed quiet.

Hope yawned, her eyelids were growing heavy. "Don't worry. I'm sure she'll get over it. Just give her time."

"I just don't understand."

"Do you want to?"

Dale didn't have an answer for that.

* * *

 

"Everybody takes a weapon." Rick laid out the kit of knives and hatchets Carl had found the day before on the hood of a car. The group was getting ready to search the woods for Sophia. Daryl was leading the search. T-Dog and Dale would stay behind. Dale was still fixing the RV and T-Dog had lost a lot of blood that morning when he cut his arm trying to hide from the herd of walkers that passed by that morning. Hope and Glenn immediately went for the same weapon.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Glenn asked hopefully.

Hope smiled. "Go ahead, take it." She picked up the axe next to it.

Andrea put her hands on her hips. "These aren't the kind of weapons we need. What about the guns?"

"We've been over that. Daryl, Rick and I are carrying. We can't have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles," Shane said from his spot leaning against the RV.

"It's not the trees I'm worried about," Andrea muttered.

Shane crossed his arms over his chest. "Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, herd happens to be passing by. See, then it's game over for all of us. So you need to get over it." He snapped back as he walked away.

Andrea said nothing in response. Hope thought that was a good idea.

"The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around, and come back down the other side. Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark," Daryl addressed the group.

"Stay quiet, stay sharp. Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other," Rick continued.

"Everybody assemble your packs," Shane piped in.

Hope picked up the small book bag she'd packed with food, water and supplies. Slinging over her shoulder, she grunted. Maybe packing so much hadn't been such a good idea. Daryl looked over at her. He lifted the book bag from her back for a moment.

"How much did you pack?"

Hope shrugged. "Enough."

"Enough for what?"

"The end of the world," Hope quipped.

Daryl shook his head in annoyance, a smirk playing on his lips.

"No Dale, you're doing it for you. You need to stop. I mean, what do you think is gonna happen? That I'm gonna stick it in my mouth and pull the trigger the moment you hand it to me?" Hope looked over to Andrea. She shook her head, sighing. Both were so stubborn, they were beating a dead horse.

"I know you're angry at me. That much is clear, but if I hadn't done what I did, you'd be dead now."

"Jenner gave us an option. I chose to stay."

"You chose suicide!"

"So, what's that to you?! You barely know me!"

"I know Amy's death devastated you-"

"Keep her out of this," Andrea interjected. "This is not about Amy. This is about us. And if I decided I had nothing left to live for, who the hell are you to tell me otherwise? To force my hand like that?"

"I saved your life," Dale said quietly.

"No Dale. I saved yours. You forced that on me. I didn't want your blood on my hands and that is the only reason I left that building. What did you expect? That I'd have some kind of epiphany? Some sort of life affirming catharsis?"

Hope and Daryl shared a look. Both felt uncomfortable with the painfully awkward scene unfolding in front of them.

"Well, maybe just a little gratitude."

"Gratitude?" Andrea asked incredulously. "I wanted to die my way. Not torn apart by drooling freaks. That was my choice. You took that away from me Dale."

"But-"

"But you know better. All I wanted after my sister died was to get out of this endless horrific nightmare we live every day. I wasn't hurting anyone else. You took my choice away Dale, and you expect gratitude?"

"I don't know what to say."

"I'm not your little girl. I'm not your wife and I sure as hell am not your problem. That's all there is to say."Andrea walked away, leaving Dale in a stunned silence.

The group quietly filed out of their makeshift camp and into the woods. Sophia was running out of time.


	7. Taking Requests

Hope wiped the sweat from her brow. She swatted at a mosquito biting her arm. She looked down at the small red bump and frowned. She needed to get her hands on more bug spray, these bugs were eating her alive. Her frown deepened at the thought.

"Oomph," Glenn grunted as Hope bumped into him. He looked at her over his shoulder.

Sorry, she mouthed. Looking ahead, she saw Daryl carefully approaching a tent. Knife in hand, he slowly peeked inside. He looked back at Rick and shrugged.

Rick motioned to Carol, "Call out softly, if she's in there yours should be the first voice she hears."

"Sophia," Carol called out. "Sweety, are you in there? Sophia, it's mommy. Sophia, we're all here baby. It's mommy."

There was no response. Rick and Shane walked over to Daryl. Slowly Daryl unzipped the tent. They looked inside. Daryl covered his mouth and coughed. There was a faint smell of death wafted slowly from the tent.

Daryl went inside.

"Daryl…Daryl," Carol called out to him.

He reappeared a moment later. "Ain't her."

Carol let out the breath she'd been holding.

Andrea stepped forward. "What's in there?"

"Some guy did what Jenner said. Opted out," Daryl looked at Hope. "Ain't that what he called it?"

Hope looked away. She started when the sound of church bells echoed through the forest. Everyone looked around wildly for the source of the noise. Rick motioned to the right and took off running. The group followed.

Rick slowed trying to pin point the location of the bells.

"What direction?" Shane asked.

"I think that way, I'm pretty sure." Rick responded pointing forward.

"Damn it's hard to tell out here." Shane hopped onto a log.

"If we can hear them, then maybe Sophia does too." Carol piped up.

"Someone's ringing those bells, maybe calling others," Glenn replied.

Andrea pushed past Hope, "Or signaling that they found her."

"She could be ringing them herself. Come on," Rick broke into a run once again.

Hope struggled to keep up with the others as they ran through the forest. Her backpack bounced painfully against spine. When they reached the end of the forest they paused. There was a church, surrounded by a cemetery.

"That can't be it. Got no steeple, no bells," Shane told Rick.

Rick ran towards the church. Hope groaned as she started running again.

Rick trotted up the stairs to the front doors of the church. Daryl moved to the right side of the door and Rick moved to the left. Shane covered the middle. On the count of three Rick and Daryl opened the doors. Inside there were three walkers sitting in the pews. One of them seemed to be wearing a wedding dress. Lori handed rick a knife and Glenn gave Daryl his axe. Shane pulled out a big knife. The three men quietly advanced into the church. Rick killed the one on the left, Daryl the bride and Shane the one in the middle. Hope flinched when their weapons made impact.

Hope inched her way inside.

"Sophia!" Rick yelled,his voice reverberated around the empty church.

"I'm telling you it's the wrong church. It's got no steeple, Rick. No steeple." Shane said to Rick.

Rick's reply was cut off as the bells sounded again. The group ran outside. On the side of the church was a speaker connected to a timer. Glenn ripped the wires out of the timer.

"Timer, it's on timer." Daryl huffed.

"I'm gonna go back in for a bit." Carol said, her voice breaking slightly.

Slowly the group dispersed. Hope made her way to a tree a few feet away from the entrance of the church. Sitting behind it out of view she rested her head against the cool bark. Closing her eyes, her racing heart slowed gradually to a steady thump. A headache settled in between her eyes as the adrenaline left her body.

"Are you really leaving?"

"Don't you think that's best for all of us?" Hope shifted as she heard Shane respond to Lori's question.

"I think it is. What made you decide?"

"I got to back away. I'm just trying to be the good guy Lori, even if you don't see it. None of this was intended, I hope you know that." Shane sighed. "Don't matter as long as I said it."

"You're just gonna disappear? You're not even gonna tell Rick?" Lori asked angrily.

"Stop. That's on you. Tell whatever you want or tell him nothing at all. You're his wife."

"And Carl? We dragged him into this."

"I love Carl."

"He thinks you hate him."

"I'm trying to put some distance. I'm trying to make this easier. This isn't easy for any of us. Least of all me, I'm the one who loses-"

There was short pause before Hope heard the shuffling of feet. Peeking from around the tree she saw Lori walking away. Shane stood on the same spot with his head hanging. Hope watched Andrea come from around the side of the church. She and Shane shared a long look before Shane walked away. Andrea trotted after him. Curious, Hope followed them.

"I'm coming with you." Andrea said, struggling to keep pace with Shane. Hope trailed behind them a few yards.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"I'm not stupid and I'm certainly not deaf. Look, I don't know the story-"

"There is no story."

"Fine, I don't care. Don't confuse me with someone who does," Andrea grabbed Shane's arm and turned him to face her. Hope ducked behind a large headstone. "Look, all I want is to get out of here. As far away as I can, like you."

"We gonna sail off into the sunset together. We gonna hold hands?" Shane scoffed.

"I'm not asking you to go steady Shane. I'm asking you for a ride. A chance to start over, somewhere else. You observe this group lately? I have. I see two people who don't belong. We're the odd men out. Between the two of us we make a great third wheel."

Hope frowned at that. Shane was Rick's right hand. Andrea got along pretty well with everyone. Maybe not that much as of late but that pretty understandable considering all that had happened. She didn't think either of them were really third wheels.

"So what? Say we do. Say we just run off. What's that gonna do for me? That's just an extra ass I've got to cover."

"The chance to do something for someone else, a door that swings both ways? Put a gun in my hand and I'll cover your ass too." The group began to file out of the church. Andrea leaned towards Shane. "Think it over."

Rick and Shane walked a few feet away to talk. Everyone gathered at the base of the tree Hope had been sitting near earlier.

"What are you doing?"

Hope looked up at Carl. Behind him the group was staring at her.

"I-I thought I dropped something."

Carl raised an eyebrow. Shane stared at Hope. Hope ducked her head and went to stand near Daryl.

"What the hell was that about?" Glenn whispered.

Hope shook her head. "Not now. Later."

Glenn quirked a brow at her, Hope shrugged.

"Y'all gotta follow the creek bed back. Daryl you're in charge. Me and Rick are gonna hang back, search this area another hour." Shane addressed the group.

Daryl crossed his arms over his chest. "You're splitting us up? You sure?"

Shane nodded. "Yeah, we'll catch up to you."

"I wanna stay too," Carl said. "I'm her friend."

Rick sighed and nodded. Carl beamed.

Lori put her hand on his shoulder. "Just be careful okay."

"I will."

Lori hugged Carl. "When did you start growing up."

Rick walked to Lori and kissed her. "I'll be along soon enough."

Andrea looked at Shane.

Rick pulled out his gun, he handed it to Lori. "Here, take this."

Lori shook her head. "I'm not leaving you out here unarmed."

"Here, I've got a spare." Daryl handed his gun to Lori.

Andrea scoffed.

Hope frowned at her as the group walked away.

"So this is it, the whole plan?" Carol asked as she sat down on a log. The group stopped for a rest.

Daryl adjusted his crossbow. "I guess the plan is to whittle us down to smaller and smaller groups."

"Carrying knives and tiny sticks."

Hope rolled her eyes at Andrea's statement. A gun wasn't much use if you didn't know how to use it.

Andrea looked at Lori. "I see you have a gun."

"Want it?" Lori took the gun from the waistband of her pants and handed it to Andrea handle first. "I'm sick of the looks you're giving me."

Andrea took the gun. She looked mildly surprised at Lori's tone.

"All of you." Lori sat on the log and took a sip of water. She looked at Carol. "Honey, I can't imagine what you're going through and I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick. It's in your face every time you look at him. And when Sophia ran, he didn't hesitate did he? Not for a second. I don't know that any of us would have done that—made the hard decisions that he had to make—or that they could have done it any differently. Anybody?" No one said a word. Lori put her water bottle back into her pack. "Y'all look to him and then you blame him when he's not perfect. If you want to do this without him, then go right ahead. Nobody's stopping you."

Andrea gave Lori her gun back. "We should keep moving."

The group continued their way back to the highway. The forest was quiet except for the sound of twigs and leaves crunching under their feet.

"You okay?"

Hope looked at Glenn and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

"I'm good. Listen I've been meaning to ask you-"

A loud pop echoed through the woods.

"What was that?" Glenn squeaked.

Hope swallowed. "It sounded like…gunshot?"

For what seemed like the tenth time since they heard the shot Lori turned around.

"You're still worrying about it?" Andrea asked.

Lori looked at her. "That was a gunshot."

"We all heard it." Daryl said.

"Why one, why just one gunshot?" Lori thought out loud.

Daryl shrugged. "Maybe they took down a walker."

"Please don't patronize me; you know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker. Or Shane, they'd do it quietly."

"Shouldn't have they caught up with up us by now?" Carol asked.

"There's nothing we could do about it anyway, we'd be running around these woods chasing echoes."

"So what do we do?" Lori asked him.

"Same as we've been. Beat the bush for Sophia, work our way back to the highway."

"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV," Andrea reassured her.

Lori nodded and continued walking.

Andrea walked up to Carol, "I'm sorry for you're going through. I know how you feel."

The group stopped once again.

"I suppose you do. Thank you." Carol began to tear up. "The thought of her out here by herself, it's the not knowing that's killing me. I just keep hoping and praying that she doesn't wind up like Amy."

Hope winced.

Carol realizing what she said took Andrea's hands. "Oh God, that's the worst thing I ever said."

Andrea shook her head. "We're all hoping and praying with you, for what it's worth."

Daryl shook his head and walked towards the two women. "I'll tell you what it's worth, not a damn thing. It's a waste of time, all this hoping and praying," he caught Carol's eyes. "We're gonna locate that little girl and she gonna be just fine. Am I the only one zen around here? Good Lord." He walked away.

Hope caught up to him. Smirking she looked at him and shook her head.

Daryl looked at her from the corner of his eye. "What?"

Hope giggled. "Zen?"

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

Hope sighed. She was exhausted; she hadn't slept much at all since escaping the CDC. Now that her body was mostly healed she was starting to dream. Well, they were more like nightmares; horrible, twisted, dreams that left her in a cold sweat. Hiking around in the woods all day in the unbearable Georgia heat had left her dead on her feet…so to speak. Daryl slowed to a stop and Hope was thankful for the reprieve.

"We're gonna lose the light before too long. I think we should call it." Daryl said.

"Let's head back," Lori replied.

"We'll pick it up again tomorrow?" Carol asked.

Lori nodded. "Yeah, we'll find her."

Daryl whistled and started to go back the other way. The group followed.

Hope wasn't sure how much more she could take. Her legs felt like jelly and her head was starting to spin.

"How much farther?" Hope was thankful Lori asked. Right now her mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

"Not much." Daryl replied, "About a hundred yards, as the crow flies."

"Too bad were not crows," Andrea griped.

Hope inwardly groaned. She was running on fumes, suddenly a hundred yards seemed like an impossible distance. But she would make it—she had to—it wasn't like anyone was going to carry her back.

"You okay?" Glenn whispered to her.

Hope nodded, which was an awful idea because it made her head spin even more. She had to pull her own weight. It was enough that Daryl basically kept her alive these past weeks. She had to prove—if only to herself—that she could survive on her own. That first night after she'd escaped, Hope promised herself she would never be in that position again. She would be strong and learn how to survive. She couldn't do that if she depended on Daryl to help her with everything.

Hope jumped when she heard a scream. She looked around and saw that Andrea was missing. The group ran back to find her.

"Andrea!" Lori yelled.

Just as the group got to Andrea, a woman on a horse hit the walker that had been attacking her on the head with a baseball bat.

The woman stopped the horse. "Lori? Lori Grimes?"

"I'm Lori."

"Rick sent me, you gotta come now."

"What?"

"There's been an accident. Carl's been shot. He's still alive but you gotta come now. Rick needs you. Just come!"

Lori dropped her back pack.

"Woah, woah, woah," Daryl protested. "We don't know this girl! You can't get on that horse!"

"Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl? Backtrack to Fairview road, two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox. The name's Greene." A second later Lori and the woman were riding off into the forest leaving everyone confused about what the hell just happened.

Hope heard a groan to her right and looked to see the walker sit up.

"Shut up!" Daryl fired an arrow straight into the walker's skull as he stomped away.

"Glenn can you get that arrow? We don't need to waste ammo." Hope said breathily. She was suddenly feeling very lightheaded. Perhaps running hadn't been such a good idea. "Can we rest a minute? I don't feel so good."

"Hope! Hope!" Glenn yelled.

Why was he yelling at her? When did the world start spinning? Oh no, not again. Hope saw Daryl run towards her before the darkness closed in.


	8. Speak

_Hope opened her eyes slowly. Sitting up quickly, she looked around. She was in a strange bedroom. White drapes swayed gently with the morning breeze. An open door led to a hallway on her right side. Tilting her head, she heard voices coming from down the hall. Slowly she slid off the bed, shivering slightly when her bare feet touched the cold floor. Time slowed to a snail's pace. At the end of the hall there was a door slightly ajar, she peeked in. There was a couple in the kitchen, arguing._

" _E-Excuse me," Hope spoke softly. The couple continued to argue unaware of her presence. The woman turned around. She looked right through Hope. Hope gasped. She was staring at herself. The man turned around as well. Hope furrowed her brow. He seemed familiar. With a jolt she realized that this man was the walker haunting her dreams as of late. Only now he was alive and whole. She moved closer to the couple. The man was wearing the same police uniform. His name tag said T. Lawson. She looked down and sure enough she saw a wedding band on his ring finger. He was her husband?_

" _You can't go it's too dangerous out there."_

" _There are people dying out there. I can't just sit here and do nothing. I took an oath. Besides you're going out."_

" _That's different."_

" _How? You took an oath to help people same as me. That's all I'm trying to do."_

" _It's not only you I'm worried about." The man put a hand on the woman's stomach. Hope touched her own._

_A car horn blared outside. The woman put her hands on the rim of the sink and sighed. The man rubbed her shoulders. "I'll be back before you know it."_

_The woman nodded. The man kissed her temple. He grabbed his keys from the kitchen table and headed towards the door._

_The woman looked up. "Tucker!" The man turned around. "I love you. Please be careful." He smiled and shut the door behind him. The woman watched the squad car pull away from the curb and ride off into the distance. She hung her head and rubbed her slightly rounded belly. Hope looked down at her own flat stomach._

_When Hope looked up the woman was in the living room, lying down on the couch watching the news. Worry lines were etched into her forehead. She clutched a wedding ring that was linked to a chain on her neck. Hope touched her own neck. She felt the ghost of the chain on her throat. They both jumped when the phone started to ring._

_The woman sighed and answered it. "Hello? Hey Nancy, how are things going?" The woman frowned clearly displeased with Nancy's response. 'I-I don't know…" She looked at the television. There were two police officers shooting at a walker. The woman's mouth formed a grim line. "I'll be right there." She grabbed her keys from the coffee table and headed out the front door._

_She pulled out her cell phone and put it to her ear as she locked the door. "Hey Tucker, it's me. I'm going to the hospital to help evacuate the last of the patients. I know I promised you I wouldn't go but they need me. I can't just sit here and do nothing, I have to help. I'll be careful, I promise. I gotta go. I'll be home later. I love you."_

_Hope watched from the window as she pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street. Hope had a sinking feeling that the woman would never make it home.  
_

Hope blinked awake. She stared at the ceiling for a long moment. She couldn't even begin to process what that was. She placed a hand on her stomach.

"Hey."

Hope turned on her side and looked at Daryl. "Hi."

Daryl handed her a bowl of beans. "Eat. It's still warm."

"What happened?"

"You fainted."

"Where are we?"

"Hershel's farm."

Hope furrowed her brow. "Who's Hershel?"

"Guy who this farm."

"How did we get here?"

"Rick, Shane and Carl were out in the woods searching. Saw a deer and stopped to stare at the wonder of life or some shit. Anyway this  dude called Otis shoots the deer, only the bullet went straight through and Carl was standing on the other side."

"And the bullet hit Carl. Oh my God."

"Shane and Otis went to some emergency hospital set up at a school. Got the stuff Hershel needed to fix Carl up. He's a doctor by the way. Well an animal doctor but we can't exactly be picky right now. And Otis died on the way back." Daryl pointed at the bowl. "Eat."

Hope shook her head. "I'm not hungry." She was still digesting everything that had happened. 

"Eat anyway," Daryl shook his head. "Look, the Doc says you've got heat exhaustion. You need to eat and drink."

Hope nodded and reluctantly began to nibble on the beans. After a short, tense silence she spoke. "How long have I been out?" It was dark outside.

"About a day."

"And Carl is he okay?"

"Doc says he'll pull through."

Hope nodded. Daryl took a glass of juice off of the nightstand and gave it to her. She sipped lightly from it. The silence stretched between them a mile wide. "Is something wrong?" Hope asked meekly.

Daryl let out a deep breath. "No."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slow you guys down." Hope stared at the beans. "Or make you worry."

"Who says I was worried?" he snapped. Daryl dropped his head into his hands. When he looked back up at her he shook his head. "Get some sleep." He said as got up and closed the door behind him.

* * *

The next time Hope woke it was not Daryl who sat beside her but Glenn. He was plucking at an old guitar. Hope cleared her throat, "Hey."

Glenn looked up, "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Good, thirsty."

Glenn grabbed a glass of juice from the nightstand. "Here, drink this."

Hope peered over the rim of the glass at Glenn. Something seemed to be on his mind. "Did something happen?"

"What? Why?"

"You seem a little occupied."

Glenn looked down at the guitar. "It's nothing."

Hope nodded and took another sip. It didn't take long for Glenn to start talking.

"It's this girl Maggie. I slept with her and it was great—or I thought it was—and now she won't give me the time of day. She keeps giving me mixed signals," Glenn rubbed his eyes."I'm confused."

"Maggie?"

"Yeah, she's Hershel's daughter."

"Hershel—as in the Hershel who owns this farm and is letting us stay on it—Hershel?

"Uh, yeah."

Hope's eyebrows were in her hairline. "Umm, wow." Hope scratched her head. "I don't know what to say."

Glenn sighed heavily, "I can't believe it, the worlds ended and I still can't get a girlfriend."

Hope smothered a laugh. Glenn looked up at her and smiled. They both burst into laughter.

The door opened and a young woman around Glenn's age poked her head through. She had brown hair and almond shaped green eyes. She was pretty.

Glenn nearly toppled the chair over in his haste to get up."Maggie!"

She looked at Glenn, "Carol says lunch is ready."

Glenn swallowed, "Okay."

Her eyes lingered on Glenn a moment longer before Maggie glanced at Hope, "I see your feeling better."

Hope smiled. "Much, thank you for your hospitality."

She shrugged, "It's no trouble. See ya."

"See ya," Hope echoed before Maggie shut the door. "So, that's Maggie."

"Yeah," Glenn sighed as he plopped back into his chair. "That's Maggie."

"She seems nice."

"She is. Smart, beautiful, brave," Glenn dropped his head into his hands. "She's so out of my league it's laughable."

Hope reached out and gently patted Glenn on the back. "She likes you; she's probably a little scared."

Glenn looked at her.

"I'm sure being in a relationship was difficult before but now? It's probably ten times as hard, give her time. She'll come around. Just back off, let her come to you."

Glenn looked at the floor.

"Hey, it'll be okay."

Glenn smiled, "Thanks Hope."

"Have you seen Daryl?"

"Not sure haven't seen him. I can go check outside if you want?"

"No, it's okay. I was just wondering where he is."

"He seemed pretty pissed. Then again, he always seems pretty pissed."

Hope laughed. "He can be a bit…prickly sometimes but he's not so bad."

"Yeah, with you but I'm pretty sure he's three seconds away from shooting the rest us half the time."

Hope shrugged.

"So, are you two…"

"What?"

"You know," Glenn waggled his eyebrows.

Hope blushed."No, it-it's not like that."

Glenn stared at her.

"Really, nothing's going on. He just," Hope paused searching for the right words. "He saved my life."

Glenn nodded in understanding. He wasn't sure what happened to Hope before she arrived but whatever it was it must've been awful. He remembered she looked like hell when he first saw her. Glenn was curious to know but he figured she'd tell him when she was ready.

"Hey," Glenn changed the subject. "There was a walker in the well today."

"What?"

"Okay so Dale and T-Dog were getting water…"

* * *

 

"Keep drinking lots of fluids and you should be fine. Make sure you keep something solid in your stomach."

"I will thank you, Mr. Greene."

"Please call me Hershel."

"Thank you, Hershel."

Hope eased herself out of bed. Her body was still a little stiff from her trek through the woods the other day. But she couldn't complain, she felt better than she had in weeks. Well rested and fed. Maybe all this was a blessing in disguise.

Not quite ready to go back out into the Georgia heat, Hope wandered around the house for a bit. She spotted what looked like a library or office of some kind. Peering inside she saw a wall to wall bookshelf full of books. There were so many books that some were stacked on the floor. Hope ran her fingers across the spines until she came to one.  She pulled it off the shelf and skimmed through it. Some of the information was familiar as if she had seen it before.

"Are you interested in medicine?"

Hope startled and scrambled up from her seat. "I'm sorry, the door was open and I just wanted to take a look. And I guess I lost track of time."

"It's all right," Hershel said. "I haven't used this office much as of late. Not as many patients around anymore." He sat on the desk. "I remember that book; it was a great help in medical school."

"You're a vet right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"But this  is about human medicine not animal."

"When I was younger I had dreams about being medical doctor and moving to the city. But when I realized I would inherit this farm I figured being a vet would be more suitable."

"Makes sense."

"Are you interested in medicine?"Hershel asked again.

"I—yes, yes I am."

"Well, I could teach a few things, might be useful for your group."

"I would like that, thank you." Hope placed the book on the desk.

"Why don't you hold onto that for now, get you started on the basics?"

Hope nodded. "Okay." Hope left Hershel in his office and went outside to find Daryl.

"It's nice to see you up and about." Carol smiled at Hope. She continued to hang clothes on the washing line.

"It's good to be up and about," Hope replied. She glanced around, "Have you seen Daryl?"

"He went out to look for Sophia, I think." Carol swallowed and looked down.

Hope wrung her hands nervously. "I'm supposed to say something comforting now, aren't I?"

Carol smiled wryly."I think I've heard enough comforting words to last me a lifetime. And, they don't do much good anyway. I could use some help with the washing though."

Hope smiled, "I can help with that."

* * *

 

A few hours later Hope was sitting at her usual perch in back of the RV. Glenn sat at the table near the door. She'd finished helping Carol with some of the chores around camp and had decided to read some of the medical book Hershel had given her.

She could hear Glenn fidgeting.

"Still thinking about her?"

Glenn stilled, "Is it that obvious?"

Hope peered over the top of the book at him.

Glenn sighed. "Great."

"Don't beat yourself up. You like her there's no shame in that."

"Yeah, because transparency is so sexy," Glenn dropped his head into his hands.

"Sometimes I wish people would be more transparent. It makes things a lot easier. Hey," Hope leaned towards him. "You're honest, last time I checked that was a good quality to have."

Glenn smiled crookedly.

"What's with the Annie Oakley routine?!" She heard Dale call from outside.

"I don't want to do the dishes anymore Dale, I want to help keep the camp safe. Is that all right with you?" Andrea called back from the roof of the RV. She'd been up there as soon as she got back from searching for Sophia. In fact, now that Hope thought about it. Everyone had returned from their search… everyone except Daryl. It was going to be dark soon and with each passing minute Hope found it harder to pretend like she wasn't worried about him.

Dale walked into the RV and started when he saw Glenn. "Jesus!"

"Nope just me, though I can see how you'd get the two confused." Glenn waved the book around. "I was just returning your book."

"Oh no, I'm sorry." Dale replied. "If I'd known the world was ending I would have brought better books."

Hope laughed quietly.

"Uh, Dale is Andrea on her period?"

Hope blinked.

"I'm only asking because all the women are acting really weird. And I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time."

Dale's eyes widened more than Hope thought possible. "I'm gonna advise you, to keep that theory to yourself."

Glenn chuckled and nodded.

"Who else is acting weird?"

Glenn sighed and sat. "Maggie." He pointed in the direction of the main house.

"Ah Maggie," Dale smirked.

"She started off being mean to me, then she wanted to have sex with me and now she's being mean to me again." Glenn shook his head. "I don't even want to know what's going on with Lori."

"What's going on with Lori?"

"Nothing, I don't know."

Dale smiled. "All right, let's take this back a step. How do you know that Maggie wanted to have sex with you?"

Smug didn't quite describe the smile on Glenn's face.

"Oh son, you didn't." Dale asked horrified.

Glenn smile stretched even further.

"Did it ever occur to you how her father might feel about this?"

Glenn shrugged. "She's twenty-two."

"And he is our host."

Glenn looked down and nodded. "He doesn't know."

"And see that it stays that way. Jesus, Glenn what were you thinking?"

Glenn was quiet for a moment. "I was thinking that I might be dead tomorrow." Glenn stood up. "Thanks for the book. You're right, it sucks."

Dale sighed as Glenn walked out of the RV.

Hope cleared her throat. Dale started as he looked at her. "Hope! You scared me. I didn't see you there." Dale chuckled nervously. "How much of that did you hear?"

Hope smiled at him.

"Let's keep that conversation to ourselves, shall we?"

Hope zipped her lips. "What conversation?"

"Good." Dale sighed, "Kids these days."

"Hey Dale, do you have a pen and pad I could borrow? I'd like to take some notes."

"I think so, let me look." Dale rummaged around in the cupboards for a bit before emerging with a small notebook and a pen. The notebook was a bright blue. The binding was worn though the pages were blank.

"I was going to use it as a diary but I never got around to it."

"Thank you."

"No problem." Dale looked at the book. "What are you working on?"

Hope ran her fingers across the page she'd been reading. "Just a medical book Hershel gave me."

"Are you interested in medicine?"

"I think so," Hope sighed.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you do before all of this?"

Hope opened her mouth to answer when Andrea yelled from the roof. "Walker!"

Hope and Dale walked outside. Hope scanned the horizon. In the distance she saw a figure stumbling towards the camp.

Rick came running towards the RV, "Just the one?"

Andrea looked through the binoculars. "I bet I can nail it from here."

"No, no Andrea put the gun down." Rick ordered.

Shane emerged from his tent wielding and axe. "You'd best let us handle this."

"Shane wait up, Hershel wants to handle the walkers." Rick cautioned.

"What for? We got this." Shane continued on.

Rick cursed and got a weapon from the RV. Rick, Shane, T-dog and Glenn started to run towards the walker.

Hope heard a gun click and looked back to see Andrea aiming her rifle. Hope looked back at the walker. Something wasn't right.

"Andrea don't."

"Back off Dale."

"Andrea I think you should listen to him. Let Rick and the others and take care of it." Hope told her.

"I've got this."

Hope squinted, "Wait, just wait they're stopping. Dale pass me those binoculars."

Dale handed them to her.

Hope adjusted the focus. She could see the walker but not very well. She adjusted the focus once more. Her heart leapt. Daryl. It was Daryl. "Wait it's-" There was a loud bang and Hope watched Daryl fall to the ground. "No!" Hope screamed at Andrea. "It was Daryl! You shot Daryl! I told you to wait!"

Hope dropped the binoculars and ran. Her heart was in her throat as she ran towards Daryl. Andrea and Dale were just seconds behind her.

"Oh my God, oh my God is he dead?" Andrea shouted.

"Unconscious, you just grazed him." Rick said as she and Shane carried him towards the house.

Hope stared at Daryl as they made their way back to the house. He was bloody and dirty. And around his neck was a necklace of ears.

"But look at him. What the hell happened? He's wearing ears." Glenn shrieked.

Rick tore the necklace off of Daryl's neck and stuffed it down his shirt. "Let's keep that to ourselves."

"Guys," T-Dog called out. "Isn't this Sophia's?"

The group stopped and looked back. In T-Dog's hand was a small doll. Sophia carried it with her everywhere.

"We need to get him back to the house." Everyone stared at Hope. She'd never raised her voice before. "Now!" The group sprung back into action carrying Daryl into the safety of the house.

* * *


	9. Truth

Daryl wasn't watching her sleep. He just happened to be facing the same direction as her and he was too lazy to turn around. It was a nice, serviceable excuse that just happened to be complete bullshit.

Hope was perfectly still; only the steady rise and fall of her chest showed that she was alive. She was curled into a ball so tight, Daryl wasn't sure how she was comfortable. Even in sleep she tried to make herself as small as possible. Daryl knew from experience that kind of behavior was learned not natural.

He believed that everything happened for a reason. It was the only thing that kept him sane growing up. There had to be a reason his dad was such a bastard. There had to be reason he'd been born into a family so messed up. Alcoholic parents, junkie brother, the abuse it had to be for something right?

Daryl remembered the one time his dad had dragged him to church. That was when the old man was still pretending like he gave a shit. Merle had been in juvie for the second time. Lucky bastard, he didn't have to sit through a long ass sermon. The sermon took so long his ass went numb and by the end of it his dad was shaking and sweating with the need for a drink. As they passed by the preacher on their way out, the preacher put his hand on Daryl's head and said 'God never gives us more than we can handle, it's up to us to rise to the occasion.' Daryl remembered that. Made sense most of the time, except when he looked at people like Hope and Carol and Sophia. There wasn't a good enough reason in the world for them to have suffered the way they did. People like him and Merle sure; no one gave shit what happened to them but Hope? Carol? Sophia? They were good people and he was sure they didn't need to be shit on like they had been. Looking at Hope made his chest hurt and that pissed him off. He cared and that was a stupid idea because the people he cared about always ended up dead or wishing they'd been. Besides she was smarter and way better looking, what the fuck would she want with him. Hope deserved better and it was only a matter of time before she realized it.

The door opened and Carol came in. "How are you feeling?" Carol placed the tray of food on bedside table.

Daryl pulled the blanket a little higher over himself. "About as good as I look."

"Brought you guys some dinner, you must be starving." Carol looked over at Hope. "She hasn't moved since you got here. Poor thing, she was worried sick."

Daryl looked at Hope. "Don't know what for. I ain't her problem."

Carol took an extra blanket from the closet and covered Hope with it. "She cares about you."

"Sentimental shit," Daryl huffed. "It's not like we're going steady or something."

Carol smiled. She leaned over a placed a tentative kiss on Daryl's forehead. He flinched slightly. "Watch out, I got stitches."

Carol paused at the door. "You need to know something. You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life."

"I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done."

"I know. You're every bit as good as them, every bit." With that Carol closed the door to his room and left.

"She's right you know."

Daryl turned to see Hope stretch her legs out.

"You are every bit as good as them."

"How long have you been up?"

"Just for that bit. You should eat something. Keep your strength up." Hope stood up and walked to the bedside table. She took her plate off of the tray along with her drink and set them on the table. "Sit up."

Daryl stared at her for a moment before complying. Hope placed the tray on his lap. Grabbing her own plate she returned to her seat and started nibbling on her food. She wasn't particularly hungry but she didn't want to pass out again. Hopefully, if she ate Daryl would too. He was too stubborn for his own good sometimes.

"What happened out there?"

Daryl shrugged. "Fell." Daryl picked up his fork and started eating.

Hope arched a brow. "You fell?"

"That's what I said." Daryl snapped.

Hope sighed. "Did I do something?"

"What?"

"You're angry with me and I don't know why."

"I'm fine."

For a long moment only the scraping of forks on plates could be heard. Hope smiled.

"What?"

Hope shook her head. "Nothing, this just seems a little familiar. A lot can happen in a day."

Daryl grunted.

Hope finished her food in silence. Tension swirled in the air like a thick fog that threatened to choke her. "Okay," Hope stood up. "You know where to find me if you wanna talk. Good night." Hope leaned against the door after she closed. With a heavy sigh she found her way back to the RV.

* * *

Hope woke up the next morning in a somber mood. The whole situation with Daryl was messing with her head. Things had been good between them or at least she thought. The tenuous confidence she had built up was more than a little shaken by the recent turn of events but Hope was determined to not let it affect her recovery.

"Morning!" Hope called to Glenn as he passed by.

Glenn smiled nervously.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." Glenn rocked back and forth on his feet. "Yup everything is good."

Hope tilted her head. "Okay."

Glenn groaned. "Don't do that."

"What?"

"That thing with your face that makes me wanna tell you all my secrets."

Hope blinked. "Sorry?"

"I'm a terrible liar. Why do I have to be the secret keeper this isn't Harry Potter!"

"Who's Harry Potter?"

"You've never heard of Harry Potter?!"

"Glenn is that really important now? What's wrong? Who are you keeping secrets for?"

Glenn banged his head on the table. "I can't tell you."

Hope leaned back. "Okay. That's fine. I'm not pressuring you."

"Lori's pregnant and there are walkers in the barn. Want a peach?" Glenn blurted out after a moment.

Hope grabbed the peach. She ate it in silence.

"Say something please."

"I don't know how to process that information."

"Yeah me neither."

"Whose baby is it?"

"Well, it's gotta be Rick's right? I mean who else could it be?"

Hope scratched her nose.

Glenn eyed her suspiciously. "Oh come on. What do you know?"

"I'm not sure. I could be wrong."

"Who is it? Can't be Dale, I mean after a certain age…and it's not mine, T-Dog? No, he doesn't seem the type. Definitely not Daryl. That leaves-" Glenn's eyes widened.

"Shane." They said in unison.

"No way, Rick's his best friend."

"I don't know for sure."

"You must've seen something though right? I mean, you didn't just pull that out of thin air."

Hope took a breath. "When we were in the CDC, I went to go take a shower and I passed by the rec room. The door was closed but I heard yelling. Shane came out and he smelled like alcohol. Lori looked a little worse for the wear and I think that's why he had that scratch on his neck."

"You think he tried to," Glenn lowered his voice. "Rape her?"

"Like I said, I don't know what happened but by the sound of it they had something going on and I think Lori ended it when Rick came back. Maybe Shane didn't want it to end."

"Damn, you are a way better secret keeper than I am."

"I guess I am."

Both sat quietly digesting the information they'd just received.

"You really haven't heard of Harry Potter?"

Hope rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Hey Hope can I talk to you for a minute?" Andrea trotted up to Hope at the picnic table.

Hope gave a tense smile. "Sure. What's up?"

Andrea sat down. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I should've listened to you. I know how close you and Daryl are and I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Hope nodded. "I'm not really one to keep a grudge. I get why you did it, just be more careful next time."

"I will. Believe me, I will." Andrea took a deep breath.

Hope smiled, "Anything else?"

Andrea pulled a large duffle bag from under the table. "I wanted to give you these. They were Amy's."

Hope looked at the bag of clothes. "Are you sure?"

Andrea nodded. "She liked you. I think you would have been friends and I'm sure she'd want you to have them. And if you wear them I won't have to throw them away."

Hope nodded. 'Thank you."

"No problem. Well, I should be going. Target practice, you coming?"

"I don't think so."

"You should come."

"I'll think about it."

"Okay, see you around."

"Yeah."

Andrea walked away.

Hope grabbed the duffel bag and put it in the RV where the rest of her meager belongings were. Walking back out she saw Daryl leaving his tent.

"Hope! You coming?" Andrea called out.

Hope looked at Daryl, unsure. Daryl looked away. Hope tilted her chin up. "Yeah, I'm coming." It seemed like the time had finally come when Daryl wouldn't be there for her. Hope walked towards the car and tried to ignore how painful the thought was.

* * *

Hope looked up as Shane and Andrea came back from their search for Sophia. There was an awkward tension between the two. They kept sending smug looks at each other. It made her skin crawl. Evidently Dale noticed it too because he went after Shane. Judging by his body language Dale was angry. Curious, Hope casually walked near enough so she could hear what they were saying.

"I wasn't there but I was the time you raised your gun on Rick. You had him in your sights and you _held_ him there." Dale looked Shane up and down. "I know what kind of man you are."

"You think I'd shoot Rick? That is my best friend. That's the man that I love. I love him like he's my brother. You think that's the kind of man I am?"

Dale nodded. "That's right."

"Well maybe we ought to just think that through. Say I'm the kind of man that would gun down his own best friend. What do you think I'd do to some guy I don't even like, when he starts throwing accusations my way? What do you think?"

Hope frowned. "Dale!"

Both men turned towards her. Shane's nostrils flared.

Hope put on a cheery smile. "I was just wondering if you had another pen. Mine ran out of ink."

Dale cleared his throat. "Yes, I think I do." He hurried off to the RV. Hope remained behind.

Shane walked towards her. "You have an uncanny knack for being in my business. I don't think I like it." Shane stared hard into her eyes. "You'd best stay out of my business, girl you don't know what I'm capable of."

Hope leaned close and whispered in his ear. "And you don't know what I'm capable of. Threaten me again and you'll find out."

* * *

Hope rubbed at her shoulder. It still ached from target practice earlier. Hope realized pretty early on that she was a terrible shot. She sighed and turned the page of her medical book. A thought suddenly hit her. So much had happened that she hadn't really had time to process her dream. Swallowing hard she flipped to the index. Her hands traced the page as she searched for the word. She tapped the spot when she found it. Miscarriage page 394. In the dream she'd been pregnant. It was just a hunch, but if the dream was a memory then that meant that…Hope shook her head. She had to be sure. Hope read the paragraph:

_A_ _miscarriage is the loss of a fetus before the 20th week of pregnancy. The medical term for a miscarriage is spontaneous abortion, but the condition is not an abortion in the common definition of the term._

_According to the March of Dimes, as many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage - most often before a woman misses a menstrual period or even knows she is pregnant. About 15% of recognized pregnancies will end in a miscarriage._

_More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy. Miscarriages are less likely to occur after 20 weeks gestation; these are termed late miscarriages._

_**What Are the Symptoms of a Miscarriage?** _

_Symptoms of a miscarriage include:_

_Bleeding which progresses from light to heavy_

_Severe cramps_

_Abdominal pain_

_Fever_

_Weakness_

_Back pain_

Hope sat back and took a shaky breath. She'd been in so much pain anyway when they held her prisoner the symptoms had been easy to miss. And the blood, there was always so much of it. Logically she knew that she'd been through so much it wasn't her fault she didn't know. She had amnesia but that didn't stop the guilt from churning in her stomach. How could she not know? How could she not feel her baby dying inside her? Hope scrambled up and ran to the bathroom. She bent over the toilet and threw up. Her mind was scattered, she couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The RV was too small; the whole world was too small. Her skin was tight, she needed to get out. Hope didn't even think about what she was doing she just ran.


	10. Trauma

Hope burst out of the camper in a dead run. She paid no attention to the curious looks from the group she just focused on the point in front of her and ran towards it.

"Hope?" Dale called after her. Dale looked around at the camp. "Anyone know what that was about?"

"Nope," Glenn replied. "Should someone maybe go after her? She looked pretty upset."

Almost in unison the group looked at Daryl.

Daryl spat on the ground. "What the hell are you looking at me for? I ain't her damn keeper."

Dale shook his head sadly. "I'll go. Glenn you mind taking watch?"

"Sure."

"Thank you." Dale climbed down from the roof and trotted after Hope.

T-Dog stared at Daryl.

Daryl glared at him, "Problem?!"

T-Dog shook his head. "That's cold man, even for you."

Daryl stomped back into his tent.

"Hope! Hope! Hope, it's me Dale! I just wanted to see if you were all right." Dale looked around the stables. He could've sworn he'd seen her run in here. Dale checked each stall until he came to last one. Inside, Hope was curled up into a little ball. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed silently. Dale's heart broke; she looked so small, so helpless.

Dale eased himself next to her, careful not to touch her. He knew of her aversion to touch. "Hope? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Hope shook her head.

"Okay, so you're not hurt that's good. Do you want to talk?"

Hope shook her head.

Dale nodded. "All right. We can just sit here, for as long as you like. I'm right here if you need me." Dale said gently.

It was a long time before Hope stopped crying but eventually she calmed down enough to speak.

"My name is Hope Lawson."

Dale looked at her, he'd never known her last name. "Well it's nice to meet you Ms. Lawson."

"Mrs."

"Sorry?"

"It's Mrs. Lawson. My husband's name was Tucker."

"I'm sorry I didn't know you were married."

"Neither did I."

Dale looked at her curiously.

"I was a doctor before all this, I think. I was married and I lived in a small house with blue shutters and red door. My husband was a police officer in Washington D.C. where we lived. I was pregnant." Tears welled up in her eyes and throat clenched. "The last thing I remember is kissing my husband goodbye and promising that I wouldn't go outside. Then I got a call, they needed my help and I couldn't say no. So I went, even though I promised I wouldn't. I knew I shouldn't go but I went anyway. I woke up on the hospital room floor covered in blood. And I have no idea how that happened." Hope sobbed.

"You have amnesia?"

Hope swallowed, "Retrograde amnesia probably as a result of some sort of head trauma. I couldn't even remember my own name. It was on my name tag."

Dale remained quiet.

"When I first woke up I could hear helicopters. They must have been still evacuating. I was so confused I didn't know where I was or what was going on. When I opened the door I saw them eating this man. There was so much blood. I panicked, I ran away and somehow I ended up in the cafeteria. I barricaded myself in the staff lounge. I lived on chips and soda for about two weeks before these two men showed up. They told me they were helping people evacuate," Hope laughed humorlessly. "They said they knew a safe place."

Dale swallowed.

"They knocked me out and when I woke up again I was tied up in the back their car, naked." Hope clenched her jaw. "They took turns and when they were done, they talked about whether or not they should kill me. They decided against it and took me with them. They drove for days, stopping every once in a while for gas or food. They couldn't decide where to go, until finally Lawrence said we should come here to Georgia. He had family here, I think, but they were estranged. When they got to the house it was empty, so they decided to stay. They kept me locked in the basement handcuffed to a radiator. I was with them for about a month before I escaped. One of them, Lloyd, got bitten and hid it until it was too late. He died and turned and bit Lawrence, the other one. In the commotion Lawrence dropped the key to my handcuffs. I managed to get the key and then I ran. "

Dale wiped a tear from his cheek. He couldn't imagine the pain Hope had been through.

"I didn't start to remember until a few weeks ago. Small things at first but a few days ago I had a dream. It all makes sense now. About a week after they captured me I got really sick. My stomach hurt so bad I thought I was dying. I was bleeding, God there was so much blood. It wouldn't stop. I remember being thankful. They were both so disgusted by the blood they left me alone for a while. But I didn't die, my baby did." Hope choked out the last word. "I lost my baby and I didn't even know." Tears blurred her vision.

Dale turned and hugged her. Hope gripped onto him like she was drowning and he was her life raft. Dale sniffed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you. No one should have to suffer like that."

Hope took a shaky breath and let go of Dale. "You know what the worst part is. I keep remembering parts of a life that feels so far away. It doesn't feel like my life."

Dale looked into her eyes. "That's okay, Hope. Anyone would be changed by what you went through. Now I may have not known you before but I know you now and let me tell you, you're doing just fine."

Hope scoffed.

"No listen to me. You a smart, resilient, strong, beautiful young woman, not many people would have been able to survive what you went through. A lot of people would have given up but you kept fighting." Dale grabbed her shoulders. "Hope, you survived and you're still surviving. That in itself is an amazing feat and I am glad that I have had the privilege of knowing you."

Hope gave him a watery smile.

Dale checked his watch. "I think it's dinner time. You ready to go back out and face the world?"

Hope took a deep breath. "I think so." Hope stood up and brushed off the dirt from her pants. "Dale, if you don't mind I'd like this to stay between me and you. I'm not comfortable with everybody knowing."

Dale nodded. "Of course, I won't tell a soul."

"Thank you Dale, for listening."

"Anytime."

Hope and Dale walked out of the barn back towards camp both completely oblivious to Daryl's presence in the next stall.

* * *

The next morning Hope felt a sense of peace. She sat quietly next to a tree and ate her breakfast. Every so often she would catch Daryl looking at her but he would look away if they made eye contact. She didn't even try to guess what was going through his head. For the first time in a while she felt calm, she wasn't going to let his bad mood ruin it.

Glenn on the other looked like a man on his way to the gallows. Last night, she, Dale and Glenn had talked about whether or not they should tell the group. It wasn't much of a discussion seeing as how all three wanted to tell the group. The only question was who would do it. Glenn had surprised them both by saying he wanted to be the one. Hope was proud of him.

Glenn stood up and moved to where the whole group could see him. He cleared his throat. "Um, guys."

Everyone looked up at him. Hope gave him a small smile of encouragement.

"So, the barn is full of walkers."

Hope looked around and saw everyone's faces slowly drop.

* * *

 

You didn't have to walk very close to the barn in order to hear the walkers, or smell them for that matter. That didn't stop Shane from walking right up to it and peeking through a hole on the boards.

Shane stomped towards Rick. "You cannot tell me you're all right with this."

"No I'm not," Rick spat. "But we're guests here and this isn't our land."

"This is our lives man!" Shane yelled.

"Lower your voice," Glenn hushed him.

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea chimed in.

"It ain't right. Not remotely." T-Dog agreed.

"We got to go in there and make things right or we just gotta go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

"We can't go."

"Why Rick? Why?" Shane asked.

"Because my daughter is still out there," Carol said.

"Okay," Shane covered his face for a moment. "I think that it's time that we start to just consider the other possibility."

"We're not leaving Sophia behind." Rick told him

"I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago." Daryl spat.

"You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll." Shane replied.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Daryl yelled back.

"I'm just saying what needs to be said!" Shane said. "You get a lead in the first 48 hours!"

"Shane stop!" Rick yelled.

"Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would _run_ in the other direction man!"

"Shut up!" Daryl yelled. He charged Shane but Rick held him back. Shane came after him but was stopped by the rest of the group.

"I'll beat your ass! Don't come at me man!" Shane yelled. The group struggled to keep both men from fighting.

"Back off!" Rick yelled.

Shane pointed at Lori. "Don't touch me!" Lori put her hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Let me talk to Hershel," Rick said. "Let me figure it out."

'What are you gonna figure out!"

"If we're gonna stay here. If we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

"Hershel sees those things in there as people", Dale cut in. "Sick people, his wife, his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick asked.

'Yesterday I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane spat.

"I thought we could survive one more night and we did. I was waiting until this morning to say something but Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or no!"

Suddenly the doors of the barn started to rattle as the walkers pushed against them, attracted by the noise. Everyone backed up. Daryl carefully stepped in front of Hope. Hope stared a hole into the back of his head. They stayed silent until the rattling slowly stopped.

Rick turned to the rest of the group, he spoke quietly but firmly. "I'm going to talk to Hershel, sort this out. We'll carry on as we have. The walkers can't get out, we're still safe but as a precaution no one comes the near the barn." Rick made eye contact with everyone before nodding. "All right we all have things to do so I suggest we do them let's go."

The group dispersed in a much more somber mood than before.

* * *

Hope spent the next few hours wandering around aimlessly. She tried reading but couldn't stay focused so she gave up after ten minutes. She explored the farm a bit, taking in its simplistic beauty. It was so peaceful, so calm, so isolated. She could see how Hershel and his family could be oblivious to what was happening. Unfortunately, obliviousness was a luxury no one could afford lately. The world had changed and people had to change with it, for better or worse. Things were never going to be the same. In a way, Hope felt lucky. The past was a faint glimmer in the back of her mind, and it was easier to adapt to something new when you had no ties to the old.

Hope eventually found her way to the main house and there she sat with Glenn and Maggie. It seemed the two had made up.

"You look like you should be in line for the early bird special," Maggie joked. She grabbed Dale's hat off Glenn's head. "Go get your cap; I'll wash it for you."

Hope looked curiously at Glenn.

He shrugged, "Long story."

"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog asked as he and Andrea approached them.

"Where's everyone?" Andrea asked.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn replied.

"He went off with Hershel; we were supposed to leave a couple of hours ago." Andrea told him.

"Yeah you were. What the hell?" Daryl griped as he and Carol walked up. As usual he avoided eye contact with her. Hope suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.

"Rick told us he was going out," Carol said.

Daryl glanced at her for a moment. "Damn it, isn't anybody taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail! Oh, here we go."

Hope turned to see Shane stomping up the drive with a duffel bag full of guns. A sense of uneasiness filled Hope. It looked like the other shoe was about to drop.

"What's all this?" Daryl asked him.

"You with me man?" Shane handed him a shotgun.

"Yeah," Daryl replied as he took it.

"It's time to grow up. You already got yours," Shane asked Andrea.

"Yeah, where's Dale?"

"He's on his way."

Thought we couldn't carry?" T-Dog asked.

"We can and we have to. Look it was one thing sitting around here and picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe but now we know it ain't." Shane walked to Glenn. "How about you man, you gonna protect yours?"

Glenn reluctantly took the gun.

"That's it. Can you shoot?" Shane asked Maggie.

"Can you stop?" Maggie retorted. "You do this, you hand out these guns. My dad will make you leave tonight."

"We have to stay Shane." Carl told him.

'What is this?" Lori asked.

"We ain't going anywhere okay?" Shane told Carl. "Now look Hershel, he just gotta understand, okay. Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia am I right?" Shane kneeled in front of Carl. He handed him a gun. "Now I want you to take this. You take it Carl and you do whatever it takes to keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how, go on take the gun and do it."

Lori stepped in front of Carl. "Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This is not your decision to make." She hissed.

"Oh shit." T-Dog said.

Hope turned to see Rick and Hershel emerge from the woods wrangling walkers using snare poles. Hope blinked, utterly confused by the past few minutes.

Shane ran towards Rick and the group followed. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Shane just back off!"

"Why do you people have guns?" Hershel demanded.

"Are you kidding me?! You see?! You see what they are holding on to?!" Shane screamed.

"I see who I'm holding onto!" Hershel yelled back.

"Nah man you don't!"

Rick tried to calm Shane down but he was having none of it.

"What do you want to talk about Rick? These things ain't sick! They're not people! They're dead! Ain't gonna feel nothing cause all they do is kill! They're the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis! They're gonna kill all of us!"

"Shane shut up!" Rick yelled.

"Hey Hershel let me ask you something. Could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane pulled out his gun and fired three shots into the chest of the walker that Hershel was holding. It had little effect on the walker. "That's three rounds in the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?" Shane fired two more shots. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" Shane fired another shot.

"Enough!" Rick screamed.

"Yeah you're right man that is enough." Shane walked up and fired a shot point blank into the walker's skull. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough living next to a barn of things that are trying to kill us! Enough! Rick it ain't like it was before! Now if ya'll wanna live, if y'all wanna survive, you gotta fight for it! I'm talking about fighting, right here, right now!

Hershel dropped to his knees. Rick begged him to take the snare pole but he didn't respond. Everyone was frozen in place as they watched Shane open the doors to the barn.

Hope watched in horror as walkers poured out from the barn. One by one they fell as Shane, Andrea, Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn shot them. Hope could hear nothing but groans of the walkers and pops as the bullets hit their target.

And then it was quiet. So quiet it made her ears hurt. It was like the whole world took and deep breath.

There was a low groan, the sound of shuffling feet. The first thing Hope saw was tiny purple sneakers. Her heart broke at the sight.

"Sophia! Sophia?!" Carol ran towards her daughter but Daryl grabbed her. Hope walked to them. "I've got her." She said softly to Daryl. Daryl nodded and passed the sobbing woman into her arms. Carol fell to her knees and Hope went with her, her arms wrapped tight around her. Hope leaned her head on Carol's as the woman sobbed.

Rick walked to Sophia and hesitated. Hope winced as the gun fired.


	11. Fight

* * *

"Don't look, don't look." Daryl said to Carol.

Hope tried to get Carol to turn but Carol broke her hold and ran away. Hope let her go.

Hershel's younger daughter, Beth she thought it was, walked over to one of the walkers. Hope presumed it to be her mother. The girl knelt next to the body and was immediately grabbed. The group sprung into action. Shane pulled the girl from her mother while T-Dog and Glenn tried to hold her down. Andrea took a scythe that was leaning up against the barn and brought it down on the walker's head.

With the threat gone Hope went after Carol. Belatedly she realized that maybe Carol shouldn't be alone. Hope found Carol in the R.V. Quietly; she sat down across from Carol, silently letting her know she wasn't alone. Daryl came in a few minutes after.

And that's how the three of them stayed until Lori came to collect them for the service.

"They're ready," Lori said quietly.

Carol shook her head.

"Come on."

Carol looked down. "Why?"

"Cause that's your little girl," Daryl said.

Carol looked at him and shook her head. "That's not my little girl. That's some other, thing." She looked out of the window. "My Sophia was alone in the woods. All this time I thought…" Tears welled in her eyes. "She didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back. Sophia died a long time ago."

Lori nodded and retreated from the camper. Daryl clenched his jaw and left the camper. Hope stayed behind; she didn't want to leave Carol alone.

After about a half an hour Carol turned to Hope. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I need some fresh air."

"Okay, do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'll be all right on my own."

Hope hesitated.

"Really," Carol urged. "I need to be alone for a while."

"All right," Hope left the R.V. with a heavy heart. She saw Rick drive the truck to the main house. Curious, she walked towards him. "Hey!"

Rick nodded, "Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"Hershel's gone into town Glenn and I are going to get back. Beth is sick and she needs his help."

"What's wrong with her?"

Rick shrugged. "She's in some sort of state. Shock, probably. We need Hershel."

Hope nodded. "Can I come?"

Rick looked at her surprised. "You wanna come?"

"That's what I said. Something wrong?" The words came out sharper than she intended. Maybe she had been spending too much time with Daryl.

"No, it's just that you've never shown any interest before. Why now?"

Hope swallowed. "I can't stay here another minute or I'm going to lose my mind. Besides, it's just into town right?"

Rick rubbed the back of his head.

"I won't get in the way, I promise."

Rick breathed out. "All right, you gotta weapon?"

"I'll go get it." Hope ran back to the R.V. and got her gun from her pack. She checked to see if it was loaded and stuffed extra bullets in her pocket as a precaution. She ran back to the truck and got in the back seat.

Glenn turned around and looked at her. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm coming with you and before you ask, no, I'm not on my period."

Rick chuckled and started the car. "Let's go."

The drive into town was fairly quick. Hope spent most of it staring out of the window.

"Maggie said she loves me," Glenn blurted out. He had a habit of doing that.

Hope glanced at him.

Rick nodded.

"She doesn't mean it." Glenn scoffed. "I mean, she can't. She's upset and confused and-"

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling."

"No," Glenn shook his head. "No."

Hope giggled. She rested her head on the window and tuned out the rest of their conversation. It seemed like Rick could handle the advice giving. Hope closed her eyes and let the gentle rocking of the truck lull her into a half conscious state.

The truck lurched to a stop and Hope opened her eyes.

"I know about Lori," Glenn said. "Her being pregnant, I got her the pills."

"I figured," Rick said as he put the truck in park. He got out of the truck, Hope and Glenn followed. He looked at Hope.

"I already knew." Hope took her gun out from her pants. "Glenn told me."

Rick glanced at Glenn out of the corner of his eyes. "How many others know?"

"Just Dale…and Maggie."

Rick shook his head.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you," Glenn continued.

'Don't be," Rick replied. "You did what you thought was right. It just so happens it wasn't."

Rick kicked in the door to the bar. Hershel sat at the bar nursing a drink.

"Hershel?" Rick asked.

"Who's with you?" Hershel responded.

"Glenn and Hope," Rick told him.

"Maggie sent him?"

"He volunteered."

"We both did," Hope cut in.

Rick nodded. "They're good like that."

Rick approached Hershel. "How many have you had?" He said referring to the opened bottle of alcohol resting on the bar's counter.

Hershel downed his glass. "Not enough."

"Let's finish this up back at home. Beth collapsed; she's in some sort of state. Must be in shock, I think you are too."

"Maggie's with her?"

"Yes, but Beth needs you."

"What could I do? She needs her mother or rather to mourn. Like she should have done weeks ago, I robbed her of that. I see that now." Hershel took a sip from his drink.

"You thought there was a cure. You can't blame yourself for holding out for hope."

"Hope? When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive."

"But he did."

"He did," Hershel conceded.

"Even though we lost Otis, your man Shane made it back and we saved our boy. That was the miracle that proved to me that miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that." Hershel finished off his drink and poured himself another one.

Hope had a feeling they were going to be there for a while. Rick, Hope, and Glenn gathered by the door.

"So what do we do, just wait for him to pass out?" Glenn asked.

"Just go. Just go!" Hershel yelled.

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe."

Hershel laughed. "Like you promised that little girl?"

Rick tensed his jaw."So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?"

Hershel stood up and walked towards Rick. "Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, I give you shelter, and you destroy it all!"

"The world was already in bad shape when we met," Rick hissed.

"And you take no responsibility; you're supposed to be their leader!"

"Well I'm here now, aren't I?!"

"Yes." Hershel nodded. "Yes. Yes you are." He walked back to the bar and sat down.

Rick went after him. "Now come on, your girls need you now more than ever." Rick tried to grab him but Hershel shrugged him off.

"I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that but when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been, that Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope and when that little girl came out of the barn, the look in your face, I knew you knew it too. Right? There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do. Don't you? There is no hope for any of us."

"You're wrong," Hope said softly. "There is always hope. There's always something to look forward to." Hope went behind the bar and leaned across the counter. "You have a family. People, who love you, people who care. There's your hope. That's what you cling on to." Hope swallowed. "I've been through hell and I've lost so much but I didn't have the luxury of giving up. And neither do you. We're still alive for a reason, Hershel. We owe it to the ones we've lost to stay that way."

Hershel bowed his head.

Rick ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer or a walker what's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before did you? Now there are people back at home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves. You know what; this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them."

Hershel nodded. He finished his drink and stood up.

Two men came through the door. "Son of a bitch, they're alive." One of them said.

Hope slowly slid her gun under the counter. She learned awhile ago not to trust strangers, especially if they came in pairs.

The men sat down. Rick gave Hope, Glenn and Hershel a long look. The meaning was clear, they'd play nice—for now. Rick poured them a drink. The fat one sat at the bar and the skinnier one sat at a table.

"I'm Dave," said the skinnier one. "That scrawny looking douche bag over there is Tony."

"Eat me, Dave."

"Hey maybe someday I will."

Their banter would have been amusing had Hope not been so tense. She wanted to leave, now.

"We met on I-95 coming out of Philly," Dave continued. "Damn shit show that was." Dave sipped his drink.

"I'm Glenn," Glenn laughed. "It's nice to meet some new people."

"Rick Grimes." Rick handed Tony a drink.

"What about you pal, you having one?" Dave asked Hershel.

"I just quit."

"You have a unique sense of timing my friend." Dave smiled.

"His name is Hershel," Rick said. "He lost people today, a lot of them."

"I'm truly sorry to hear that." Dave raised his glass. "To better days and new friends and to our dead, may they be in a better place." Dave downed his shot. "What about you sweetheart, you quit too?"

Hope glanced at Rick then Dave. "I don't drink."

Dave pulled out his gun. "Not bad huh, I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop." Rick said.

"This one was already dead." Dave smiled.

"You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia." Rick told him.

"Feels like we're a long way from anywhere."

"Well, what drove you south?"

"Well, I can tell you it wasn't the weather. I must've dropped thirty pounds in sweat alone down here." Dave wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"I wish," Tony joked.

"No first it was D.C," Dave said.

Hope looked up. Could Lawrence have been?

"We heard there might be some sort of refugee camp but the roads were so cramped we never even got close. We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks keep hauling ass."

"Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing."

"One guy told us there was a coast guard sitting in the gulf sending ferries to the islands." Tony cut in.

"The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country, Kansas, Nebraska."

"Nebraska?" Glenn asked.

"Low population, lots of guns." Tony answered him.

"Ever been to Nebraska, kid? There's a reason they call them fly over states." Dave joked. "How about you guys?"

"Fort Benning eventually," Rick answered.

"I hate to piss in your cornflakes officer but we ran across a grunt that was stationed at Benning. He said the place was overrun by lamebrains." Dave said.

"Wait Fort Benning is gone? Are you for real?" Glenn asked.

"Sadly I am. Ugly truth is, there's no way out of this mess. Just keep going from one pipedream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks doesn't grab a hold of you in your sleep."

"If you sleep," Tony cut in again.

"Yeah," Dave glanced around. "It doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here. You holed up somewhere else?"

"Not really." Rick answered.

"Those your cars out front?'

"Yeah" Glenn said. Hope pinched him under the counter. "Why?" He asked, looking at her.

"We're living in our cars. Those look kinda empty, clean. Where's all your gear?"

"We're with a larger group." Hershel told him. "Out scouting, thought we could use a drink."

"A drink Hershel, I thought you quit?" Dave smiled again. He glanced around. "Well we're thinking of setting up around here. Is it safe?"

"It can be, although I've killed a couple of walkers around here." Hope pinched Glenn harder.

"Walkers, that what you call them?"

Glenn chuckled, "Yeah."

"That's good. I like that. I like that better than lamebrains."

"More succinct," Tony added.

"Okay," Dave laughed. "Tony went to college."

"Two years."

"So what you guys set up on the outskirts or something? The new development?"

"The trailer park or something? A farm?" Tony asked as he got up.

Dave sang a line from the Old MacDonald song. Tony laughed.

"You got a farm?" Dave asked.

Tony unzipped his pants and started peeing in the corner. Hope almost gagged.

"Is it safe?" Tony asked.

"It's gotta be." Dave answered. "You got food? Water?"

"You got cooze? I ain't had a piece of ass in weeks." Tony asked.

"Listen pardon my friend, city kids they got no tact. No disrespect." Dave looked at Hope. "I apologize."

Hope's eyes narrowed. "It's all right."

"I didn't catch your name."

She looked at Rick. At his nod she said,"Hope, my name is Hope."

"Hope, I like it." Tony said while ogling her. She had a feeling he wasn't talking about her name.

"So listen Glenn-"

"We've said enough." Rick cut him off.

"Well, hang on a second. This farm it sounds pretty sweet. Don't it sound sweet Tony?"

"Yeah, real sweet," Tony said greasily.

"How about a little southern hospitality?" Dave asked. "We got some buddies back at camp who've been having a real hard time. I don't see why you can't make room for a few more; we can pool our resources, our man power."

"Look I'm sorry that's not an option."

Dave shrugged. "It doesn't sound like it'd be a problem."

"I'm sorry we can't." Hershel said.

"We can't take in anymore." Rick told him.

Dave chuckled. "You guys are something else."

"I thought-I thought we were friends. We got people we gotta look out for too."

"We don't know anything about you." Rick said.

"No, that's true. You don't know anything about us. You don't know what we've had to go through out there, things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those same things yourself, am I right? Ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world. We're all the same. So come on, let's take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we'll get to know each other."

"That's not gonna happen." Rick told Dave.

"This is bullshit," Tony said.

"Calm down." Rick said to Tony.

"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't ever tell me to calm down! I'll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your damn farm and your girl!"

Dave jumped up and told Tony to relax. "Nobody is killing anybody or taking anything or anyone." Dave climbed over the bar. "Right Rick?"

Dave put his gun on the counter.

Hope gripped her tighter.

"We're just friends having a drink that's all." Dave said as he poured himself another drink. "You gotta understand we can't stay out there. You know what it's like."

"Yeah, I do." Rick sympathized. "But the farm is too crowded as is. I'm sorry you'll have to keep looking."

"Keep looking. Where do you suggest we do that?"

"I don't know." Rick shrugged. "I hear Nebraska's nice."

Dave laughed. "Nebraska, this guy." Dave reached for his gun but before he could Rick shot him in the head.

Rick turned around to shoot Tony only to find him dead already. Rick looked at Hope who stood behind the counter holding the smoking gun.


	12. Aftermath

Hope released a shaky breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. She looked into Rick's eyes. "I had to do it. He was gonna shoot you," She blinked back tears. "I had to."

"I know," Rick said. He approached her slowly; his hands out. "I know and I'm thankful. You can put the gun down now, they're dead."

Hope couldn't move it was like she was frozen.

"Hope," Rick was in front of her now, looking into her eyes. "Let me have the gun." Slowly Rick grabbed the barrel of the gun and pulled it from her shaking hands. He clicked on the safety and stuffed it in the back of his pants. "Look at me, Hope." He cupped her face. "You did good. You protected me, you protected the group, you did the right thing."

A tear fell from Hope's eye and Rick wiped it away tenderly. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. It was an oddly intimate gesture coming from a man she'd spoken only a few words with. He came behind the counter and guided her into a seat. He poured her a drink. "Here drink this; it'll calm your nerves."

Hope nodded mutely and sipped from the glass; barely tasting its contents.

"Holy shit," Glenn said as he approached Tony's body.

"You all right," Rick asked him.

"Yeah."

"Hershel?"

Hershel nodded. "Let's head back."

Rick grabbed Tony's shotgun and took some shells from his pocket. Glenn grabbed Dave's gun.

Rick knelt in front of Hope. "We have to go now, okay?"

Hope nodded. Rick put his arm around her and guided her towards the front door. Bright headlights passed in front of the bar.

"Car," Rick whispered. "Get down." He knelt in front of the door. Hope knelt with him.

"Dave?! Tony?!" A man yelled.

"They said over here?" Another man asked.

"Yeah," the first man answered.

"I'm telling you man I heard shots," a third man said.

"I saw roamers two streets over, might be more around here," the second man added. "It's hot we gotta get out of here."

"Dave! Tony!"

"Stay close we'll find them."

The men walked away.

Rick took Hope's gun out of his pants. He turned to her. "Here," he whispered. "Take it."

Hope looked down at the gun.

"Hope, take it. I need you to focus now. Take it."

Hope nodded and took the gun, she clicked the safety off.

After a few minutes, Rick stood up slowly and peeked out of the window. He crouched again and crawled to Glenn and Hershel. Hope scooted closer to them.

"Why won't they leave?" Glenn hissed.

"Would you?" Hershel retorted.

"We can't sit here any longer. Let's head out the back and make a run to the car." Rick whispered.

Glenn, Hope and Hershel nodded in agreement. They stood up but quickly crouched again when they heard shots being fired.

"What happened?"

"Roamers, I got them."

"They disappeared but their car's still here."

"I cleared out those buildings. You guys get this one?"

"No."

"Me neither."

"We're looking for Dave and Tony and nobody checks the damn bar?"

The men approached the front door. Someone pushed it open but Glenn closed it before they could open it.

"What happened?"

"Someone pushed the door closed."

"Yo, is someone in there! Yo, if someone's in there we don't want no trouble! We're just looking for our friends."

"What do we do? Bum rush the door?"

"We don't know how many are there just relax."

"We don't want any trouble! We're just looking for our friends! If something happened, tell us! This place is crawling with corpses! If you could help us not get killed I'd really appreciate it!"

"You're bugging I'm telling you there's nobody in there."

"Someone guard the door, if they're in there they might know where Dave and Tony are."

"They drew on us!" Rick yelled.

Hope held her breath.

"Are Dave and Tony in there? Are they alive?"

"No!" Rick answered.

"They killed Dave and Tony."

"Come on man, let's just go."

"No I'm not leaving. I'm not telling Jane. I'm not gonna go back and say that Dave and Tony got shot by some assholes in a bar."

"You're friends drew on us!" Rick yelled to them. "They gave us no choice! I'm sure we've all lost enough people, done things we wished we didn't have to but it's like that now! You know that! So let's just chalk this up to what it was, wrong place, wrong-"

The front door window shattered as the bullet hit it. Hope ducked her head. Rick stood and fired through the broken window. "Get out of here! Go!"

Hope ran towards the back door with Hershel and Glenn. Glenn ducked behind the piano while Hershel hid behind a wall. Hope jumped behind the counter. She yelped in pain.

"Hope!" Rick yelled.

"I'm all right," she called back. "They clipped my side." She clutched at her right side with her left arm. Blood began to soak through her shirt.

"Hey! We all know this isn't gonna end well! There's nothing in it for any of us! You guys just back off, no one else gets hurt!" Rick reloaded his gun. Rick looked over at Glenn and jerked his head towards the back door. Glenn groaned quietly but nodded. Glenn ran to check the exit. Hope watched him disappear into the back. She crawled out from around the bar. Hope sat silently, waiting for a signal from Glenn. She placed a hand over her heart willing it to slow down before it beat out of chest. She wiped sweat from her brow. A gunshot went off.

"Glenn!" Rick and Hope yelled.

"I'm all right! I'm all right!" He yelled back.

Rick ran to the wall where Hershel was, Hope crab-walked over to them.

"You cover Glenn," Rick told Hershel. "Hope and I will hold them off. Try to make it to your car, tell him to bring it around back so we can get the hell out of here."

"You want me to cover Glenn?" Hershel asked incredulously.

"You missed gun training would've come in handy right about now."

"I can shoot," Hershel said. "I just don't like to." He went after Glenn leaving Hope and Rick in the bar.

Rick smiled wryly. "You picked a great time to help out."

Hope leaned her head against the wall. "Rick, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm never going into town with you again."

Rick grinned. "If we make it out of here alive, I'll hold you to it."

Shots were fired once more. Hope and Rick ran to the back. Hershel was standing at the door.

"What happened?" Rick asked.

"He fired. He must've hit Glenn. He's behind the dumpster, doesn't look like he's moving." Hershel answered.

Hope's heart dropped. "Glenn," she whispered sharply.

Cautiously Rick moved along the outside wall towards Glenn. "You hit? Are you hit?"

"No, no." Glenn answered after a few minutes.

Hope sighed in relief.

Tires squealed as one of the men pulled up to the building across the street. "Come on man, we gotta go!"

"What about Sean?"

"They shot him, come on man, they're roamers all over the place we gotta go! Jump!"

Hope heard a thud and then a piercing scream.

"Help me! Help me!"

"I've gotta go! I'm sorry!"

"No, don't leave! Help me! No!"

Hope looked back to see one of the men being ripped into by walkers. She grabbed Hershel's arm and pulled him.

"The gunfire must've attracted the walkers. We have to go now." Hershel said. "Where's Rick?"

"He ran across." Glenn told him.

"Well hell, we can't go without him."

Hope ran across the street and saw Rick with the man who fell off the roof. His leg was impaled by the wrought iron fence.

"We've got to go, Rick. I'm sorry son." Hershel said to the man.

"Don't leave me please!"

Hershel gave the keys to Hope. "Get the engine started."

Hope ran back across the street to the truck. She got in the driver's seat and started the car. Looking around anxiously she waited for the others. What was the hold up? Spotting walkers in the distance, she put the car into gear and drove up next to them. "Come on, get in!"

Glenn and Rick started to fire at the walkers. "I'm almost out of ammo! We gotta go!"

"Leave him!" Hope yelled. "Come on! Get in! Rick!"

Rick grabbed the man's leg and pulled it up. Hope flinched as them man's leg was torn through again.

"Hershel help me!"

Rick and Hershel put them man in the back seat. Hershel sat with him; his legs on Hershel's lap. Glenn sat in the middle seat and Rick hopped in the front. Hope stepped on the brake and drove them out of town.

A few miles out, Rick turned to her. "I didn't know you could drive."

Hope glanced at him, "Neither did I."

Hope never thought she'd be so happy to see the farm. Hell, at one point she wasn't sure if she _would_ see the farm again. As soon as she stopped the truck, the others hopped out. Lori and Carl ran to Rick and Maggie ran to Glenn.

Hershel told Patricia to prep the shed for surgery.

Hope got out of the car. She spotted Daryl. He glared at her a moment before looking away.

"Who the hell is that?" T-Dog asked, pointing to the man in the car.

"That's Randall," Glenn answered dryly.

* * *

"I couldn't have just left him there. He would have bled to death, if he lived that long."

"What do we do with him now?"

Hershel walked in wiping his hands. "I've repaired the calf muscle but he's going to have some nerve damage. He won't be in his feet for at least a week."

"When he's on his feet we'll give a canteen, send him on his way." Rick answered.

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea argued.

"It gives him a fighting chance, that's more than he had a few hours ago." Hope told her. Rick gave her a nod of thanks, Hope smiled back.

"You're just gonna let him go?" Shane asked. "He knows where we are."

"He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat."

"How many of them were there? You killed three of their men, you took one hostage and they just ain't gonna come here looking for him?"

"They left him for dead, no one is looking."

"We should still post a guard," T-Dog advised.

"He's out cold for now, will be for hours." Hershel said.

"You know what, I'm gonna get him some flowers and candy," Shane announced.

Hope rolled her eyes.

"Look at this folks, we're back in fantasy land." Shane said as he walked away.

"You know we haven't even dealt with what you did in my barn yet. Let me make this perfectly clear once and for all, this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favor—keep your mouth shut."

Shane nodded and walked away.

Hope snorted.

Everyone looked at her. "What? You can't say he didn't have that coming."

Rick patted Hershel on the back. "Look we're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off."

"Let me patch up your side before it gets infected," Hershel told Hope.

She groaned, "All right."

* * *

"You shouldn't have gone with them."

Hope turned around and looked at Daryl. "You're talking to me now?"

Daryl clenched his jaw. "I'm just saying, you shouldn't have gone it was dangerous."

"Yeah, I know."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that this group is hanging by a thread and the one person I trusted the most wouldn't even look at me anymore." Hope breathed out. "Does this mean we're talking again?"

Daryl looked down. "I've got to go."

Hope shook her head and walked towards the RV. As usual Dale was keeping watch.

He smiled as he watched her approach. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Dale. I've got to admit for a second there I was worried we wouldn't make it out of there." Hope said as she climbed up to the roof.

"I still don't know what possessed you to go out there in the first place. Rick and Glenn could have handled it just fine. It's not like you have to prove anything to anyone."

"I know," Hope looked down. "I guess I had to prove to myself that I could. When Shane opened that barn, I just stood back and watched. I didn't do anything. I'm always watching, never doing. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could _do_ something, anything. So I did."

Dale nodded. "I can understand that, I suppose. If you plan on doing that again, give an old man some warning at least. I was worried sick. Between you and Andrea, I'm gonna get gray hair."

Hope chuckled. "Don't worry; I think I've had enough excitement for quite a while."

"I would hope so; the last thing we need around here is an adrenaline junky."

They both laughed quietly.

Dale sobered. "So tell me honestly, how bad was it? What happened out there?"

Hope wet her suddenly dry lips. "It was bad, Dale, really, bad."

"How so?"

"There were these two guys, they walked into the bar. At first it wasn't so bad, they were drinking with Rick and Glenn. Then one of them started asking questions, about where we were from, what supplies we had. They asked to take them with us. Rick said no," Hope paused, taking a deep breath. "Things escalated from there. It happened so fast, one of them drew on Rick and Rick shot him."

"And the other?"

"I-I killed him Dale. I killed him before he could kill Rick."

Dale breathed out. It was a while before he said anything. "It was self defense, Hope. Those men were dangerous. I'm not saying you should take killing someone lightly but your actions can be justified. Feeling guilty is natural but-"

"That's just it Dale," Hope cut him off. "I don't feel guilty. I don't feel anything. I killed a man. A living, breathing person but I don't feel a thing."

Dale sighed. "You're a good person, Hope. Anyone with two eyes can see that and the fact that you feel guilty about your lack of guilt tells me that nothing has changed."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Now, you should get some rest. You look terrible."

"Dale Horvath you're a charmer."


	13. Consequence

Hope spent the next week learning as much as she could from Hershel and going to target practice with Rick and the others. She and Rick hadn't spoken much since they brought Randall back but they really didn't need to. Rick _saw_ her now and that was good enough for Hope. Not much else had changed, which was why she was so surprised when he asked her to patrol the borders with him before he went with Shane to drop off Randall.

"You ready?!" Rick called from the truck.

"Yeah!" She called back. She made sure her gun was secure, tied up her hair and left the camper. She hopped into the front seat of the truck and they drove off.

Rick glanced at her, "Nervous?"

"A little bit but the farm is safer than in town so hopefully it won't be too bad."

"It's been pretty quiet lately, we shouldn't have much trouble." Rick looked at her once more. "You know, I never did thank you for what you did at the bar."

"You don't have to. I'm sure you would have done the same for any of us."

"All the same, thank you." Rick cleared his throat. "You wanna talk about it?"

Hope smiled. "I'm good, Dale beat you to it." Hope shifted in her seat. "Is that why you invited me, to check on my mental state?"

"I wanted to make sure you were all right and I thought you could use the practice."

"Fair enough, I suppose." Hope squinted as she spotted something in the distance. "Walker."

"Yeah, I see it." Rick sped up until they were about twenty feet away from it. He stopped the car, but kept the engine running. "You think you can handle it on your own?"

"Let's find out." Hope took a deep breath and got out of the truck. She walked a feet away from it, took out her gun and clicked the safety off. Getting into a shooting stance, she aimed her gun. She took a deep breath, let it out and squeezed the trigger. She hit the walker in the shoulder. It snarled at her and started to run. Hope aimed again and squeezed the trigger. The walker fell back onto the ground and squirmed trying feebly to get up. Cautiously, she moved towards it. Hope pointed her gun and its forehead and fired another round. Where its eye would have been was now a neat bullet hole. Hope turned around and trotted back to the truck.

Rick clapped as she got in. "Good job, I knew you could do it. Just adjust a bit more for the kickback."

Hope smiled, "Right, thanks.Let's just hope we don't run into a herd."

* * *

 

Ultimately they didn't run into a herd and returned home safely. Hope spent the rest of the day with Hershel soaking up all she could about medicine. Some things she remembered and some things drew a complete blank. It was frustrating but rewarding as well. Healing others brought a sense of security Hope hadn't felt yet. She had a place in the group, she was needed and to Hope that made all the difference.

Rick and Shane returned late in the afternoon with Randall in tow. Judging by the cuts and bruises both of them wore, something had gone down. Hope would bet a day's rations it had something to do with Shane. Hope shook her head as she patched up Rick, why he continued to put up with Shane was beyond her.

She had learned enough from Hershel that he trusted her to tend to smaller cuts and scrapes. Hershel had been kind enough to check on Shane, knowing how uncomfortable she was around him. Hope was doubly grateful knowing Hershel's dislike for the man.

"What?" Rick winced as she dabbed some alcohol on one of his tinier cuts.

"Nothing, just thinking."

Rick looked at her for moment before chuckling lightly. "You know you would have made a good poker player…or cop."

Hope smiled. "I suppose so. Lift up your shirt; I wanna take a look at those ribs."

Rick unbuttoned his shirt and took it off with a groan. Hope winced when she saw the deep purple bruise that covered most of his right side. Gingerly she pressed on his ribs, checking how tender they were. Rick tried his best to remain as stoic as possible but failed when hope pressed on a tender spot. He squirmed away from her hands. Hope clucked her tongue at him.

"So what's the prognosis, will I live?"

Hope pursed her lips. "You've got two bruised ribs. As long as you don't try to wrestle anyone for the next week or so, you should be fine."

"Great." Rick hopped off the dining room table.

"Not so fast." Hope dug into the bag of medical supplies. She ripped off three aspirin tablets from the package. She put them in Rick's hand. "These should help you manage the pain enough so you can get some sleep. Use them sparingly because that's all I can give you."

Rick ducked his head. "Thank you."

"Your welcome and I mean it; get some rest. You look terrible."

"I will."

* * *

"So what are you gonna do?" Lori asked the next morning Rick as she poured a cup of tea. "We'd all feel better if we knew the plan." The group had gathered to hear Rick's decision on Randall's fate.

"Is there a plan?" Andrea asked.

"Are we gonna keep him here?" Glenn shoved his hands in his pockets.

"We'll know soon enough," Rick nodded towards Daryl as he approached. His knuckles were bloody. So that's where he'd been all morning, Hope thought grimly.

"Boy there's got a gang, thirty men. They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead. And our women, they're gonna wish they were." Daryl looked at her as he said this. Hope swallowed nervously.

"What did you do?" Carol asked Daryl.

Daryl glanced down at his bloodied knuckles, "Had a little chat."

"No one goes near this guy," Rick declared.

"Rick, what are you gonna do?" Lori asked quietly.

"We have no choice, he's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat."

"You're just gonna kill him?" Dale asked incredulously.

"It's settled," Rick went on. "I'll do it today."

Rick walked off with Dale in tow.

Hope walked over to Daryl. "You want me to take a look at that hand?"

Daryl glanced at her. "I'm fine."

Hope nodded and backed away. At least he had said something to her this time.

* * *

 

It took Dale about an hour to approach her. Hope saw him coming a mile away. She was sitting at the picnic table organizing the group's medical supplies. Labeling things, putting them in an old duffel bag Hershel had given her. With the threat of another group looming over their heads, Hope wanted to be prepared for the worst.

"I know what you're gonna say Dale and I'm pretty sure you already know my answer."

Dale put his hands out, "I know, I know just let me speak my piece."

"All right, knock yourself out." Hope packed the bandages in the front pocket.

"Rick doesn't want to kill this boy you know that and I know that. He saved him, twice. There's got to be another way."

"What do you suggest?"

"We could stick to the original plan, give him some supplies and send him on his way."

"That was before we found out he knew where the farm was. Besides there's no guarantee he wouldn't talk to other survivors even if he never found his way back to his camp."

Dale slumped in defeat. "We can't kill that boy, it's not right."

"No but it is necessary. I know you want to do the right thing Dale but he's a threat. You weren't there at the bar, you didn't see those men. How they looked at me." Hope shook her head. "I promised myself I would never end up at the mercy of men like that again. I wish I could say I agree with you Dale but I just don't." Hope put a hand on his arm. "How's it going with the others?"

"About as well as you'd think. I might as well be talking to a brick wall."

Hope smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Dale. I know how much this means to you."

"Thank you, Hope." Dale stood, "I'm off to plead my case to Daryl."

Hope snorted. "Good luck with that."

"Well, I thought I'd bring a little luck with me." Dale gave her a pointed look.

Hope shook her head. "I don't know how much use I'll be, we haven't spoken in a while." Hope picked at invisible piece of lint. "He barely even looks at me now."

"Only when you're looking, his eyes are practically glued to you otherwise. Please, Hope let me try."

"All right, I'll go." Hope packed away the rest of the supplies before dropping them off in the camper. She followed to Dale to Daryl's new campsite at the edge of the farm.

Hope couldn't help but feel nervous as she approached Daryl. If it hadn't been for Dale she would have turned tail and run.

Daryl was picking up arrows for his crossbow as they approached. "The whole point of me coming up here was to get away from you people."

"It's gonna take more than that." Dale told him.

"Carol send you?"

"Carol's not the only one concerned about you, your new role in the group."

"Man, I don't need my head shrunk. This group's broken. I'm better off fending for myself."

"You act like you don't care."

"Yeah, it's cause I don't." Daryl put his long-sleeved shirt on.

Hope rolled her eyes. "You know that's not true."

"So live or die, you don't care what happens to Randall?"

"Nope," Daryl said as he put on his belt.

"Then why not stand with me, try to save the kid's life if it doesn't matter one way or the other?"

"I didn't peg you for a desperate son of a bitch."

Hope frowned.

"Your opinion makes a difference."

"Man, ain't nobody looking at me for nothing."

"Carol is, Hope is, and I am right now."

Daryl glanced back at Hope. He couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"You obviously have Rick's ear," Dale continued.

"Rick just looks to Shane. Let him." Daryl began to walk away.

"You cared about what happened to Sophia. Cared what it meant to the group. _Torturing people?_ That isn't you. You're a decent man. So is Rick. Shane—he's different."

"Why's that, cause he killed Otis?"

Hope looked at Daryl surprised.

Dale walked towards him. "He tell you that?"

"He told some story—how Otis saved his ass, covered for him. He showed up with a dead guy's gun." Daryl licked his lips. "Rick ain't stupid. If he didn't figure that out, it's cause he didn't wanna. Like I said, this group's broken." Daryl stomped off.

Dale looked down; all the wind taken out of his sails. Hope felt a burst of anger on his behalf. For the past few weeks Daryl had been a raging asshole and she'd had enough. "I'll be back, Dale."

"Where are you going?" He called after her.

"Daryl and I need to have a chat!" She called back. Hope jogged after Daryl calling his name.

After the fifth time she called for him he stopped and turned around, glaring at her. "What? I already told you no."

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

Daryl faltered for a moment before glaring at her again. "Your point?"

Hope shook her head. "What is your problem?!" Hope grit her teeth, "You know, at first I was wondering what I did to make you so angry you'd start pretending I didn't exist. Then I realized that I didn't do anything at all and you weren't angry, you were scared."

"Oh yeah, of what?"

"Feeling, you're so afraid letting people know you care. That's why you push everyone away. That's why you walk around acting like you couldn't care less. But you know what? I call bullshit, because I know you care. You could have left me that day in the forest, you could have walked away and forgotten about me the moment you turned your back. But you didn't, you risked your life to save mine and you did the same for Sophia. That doesn't seem like the behavior of someone who doesn't care."

"Screw you! You don't know me! Yeah, I saved your life, so what? Hell, I don't even know why I did it. You weren't my problem then and you're not my problem now! I don't need your baggage! I'm not your husband! So stop pretending like I am!"

Hope stepped back, his words cutting deep. After a beat of silence, "You're right," she said her voice breaking. "I'm not your problem. So stop treating me like one." Hope walked away quickly not wanting him to see her cry.

Daryl punched a tree. He cursed and rubbed his hand. He should have punched himself. He shook his head and stomped off into the forest.

* * *

Hope lay in the RV staring at the ceiling. A few hours ago she'd feigned a headache and went to lie down. She'd tried sleeping but couldn't. Not with Daryl's voice echoing in her head. She ran a hand over her eyes wiping away the wetness that had formed there. She sat up with a frustrated sigh.

Through the window she could the sun slowly sinking below the horizon, streaking the sky with a trail of orange. Unbidden, a memory rose to the surface. Sitting on her back porch watching the sunset; her husband kneeling before her staring in wonder at her flat tummy. Her breath caught, overcome with emotion. She had loved him. Though those feelings were only an echo of what she had once felt, she still mourned. She mourned what could have been and what would never be. As the night sky swallowed the last of the sun's rays she bid her goodbyes to Tucker Lawson and the tiny life she would never know. Wiping a final tear from her eye she breathed deeply taking in the night air.

Someone cleared their throat behind her. "I brought you some dinner."

Hope closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. She turned around. He was standing with a plate in one hand his crossbow in the other. He was sweaty and had patches of dirt on his face, he must've just returned from hunting. She swallowed, "Thank you." She took the plate from him and laid it on her lap. Quietly she began to nibble on her food.

Daryl shifted restlessly from foot to foot.

Hope peaked up at him through her hair, "Would you like to sit?"

Daryl hesitated a moment before sitting on the cot across from hers.

They sat awkwardly for a few moments, neither entirely sure of what to say. Daryl frowned. "I-I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

Hope blinked. She'd never heard him apologize to anyone. "It's okay; I'm not exactly innocent either. I'm sorry too."

Daryl gave a sharp nod. Now that he had said what he wanted to say he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself.

"In a way, you were right." Hope continued.

Daryl furrowed his brow.

"I depend too much on you but I'm working on fixing that. I'm no one's responsibility. I didn't mean to be a burden."

"No." Daryl shook his head. "No, that's not right. I promised I'd take care of you and I will. You are my responsibility. I know I've done a piss poor job of it lately but I'll do better from now on."

"You don't hav-"

"Yes I do. I found you; it's my job to look after you, make sure you're safe."

"I can't depend on you forever."

"Why the hell not? Besides, I'm not asking you to. If you need to learn how to do something then I'll teach you how to do it. End of story. I ain't gonna leave you defenseless. Jeez."

Hope nodded silently, touched. She glanced at his hand and saw that his knuckles were an awful purple shade. She moved her plate to the side and wiped her hands on her jeans. "Let me take a look at that hand. I want to make sure it's not broken."

Daryl began to protest but thought better of it. He scooted closer to her and held out his hand so she could see. Her hands were warm and gentle but firm as they felt around his knuckles. Her brow furrowed in concentration. Daryl tried not to wince when she pressed on a particular tender spot.

Hope sat back with a sigh, "Nothing's broken. What I don't understand is how you managed to bruise your hand this badly. It didn't look like this earlier."

If Daryl could look sheepish that's how Hope would've described the look on his face now. He rubbed the back of his neck, "I hit a tree."

Hope quirked a brow, "You hit a tree?"

"That's what I said," Daryl snapped.

"Well, I hoped the tree learned its lesson." Hope smirked.

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

Hope giggled quietly, "I'll get you a cold towel to bring down the swelling." She came back a few minutes later with damp cloth. Carefully she wrapped the cloth around his hand. The coolness soothed the throbbing to a dull ache.

Daryl watched her work. He'd never had the chance to look at her this close. He could even see the light dusting of freckles over her nose. She was beautiful, Daryl had the sudden urge to kiss her. Hope looked up at him and for a split second they both held their breath. The moment ended as quickly as it had come when a gunshot rang through the air.


	14. Dead End

"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought. How he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale, he'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it at one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us—the truth, who we really are. In the end he was talking about losing our humanity, he said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken, we're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."

Hope listened to Rick's words numbly. She stared at the mound of dirt in front of her, playing the night before over and over in her head like a bad dream.

* * *

 

Hope jerked back. "What was that?"

"Sounded like gun fire." Daryl replied, already making his way towards the door. Hope followed after him, dread coiled in her gut.

Hope heard a scream and broke out into a dead run. Dale was screaming.

Daryl reached Dale first and tackled the walker that had been on top of him. He stabbed it in head and threw it to the side. Hope kneeled beside Dale. Her heart stopped when she saw the damage. The walker had ripped through his stomach. Bile rose in her throat as she saw his intestines spill out around him. Blood soaked through her jeans, and shirt.

"Can you help him?"

She looked at Daryl hopelessly. "There's nothing I can do." She stared into Dale's eyes. Her voice broke. "There's nothing I can do."

Dale gasped. Hope ran a hand over his forehead gently. "Don't try to speak."

Daryl stood up and waved his hands in the air. "Here! Over here!"

The others reached them and Andrea sobbed. Rick pulled Hope away from Dale and knelt beside him. "Hershel! Hershel!"

A few moments later Hershel reached them. "Help him," Rick pleaded. "We have to get him to the house."

Hershel shook his head. "He won't make it."

"Then we'll do the operation here."

"No Rick," Hershel grabbed his arm. "He won't make it."

"No!" Rick yelled.

"He's suffering," Andrea whimpered. "Do something."

Rick pulled out his gun and pointed it at Dale's forehead. His hand trembled.

Daryl grabbed Rick's hand. "I'll do it."

Rick nodded and passed the gun to him.

Hope grabbed Dale's hand. "Hey, look at me. Look at me." Dale stared at her. "It's gonna be okay. I promise, it's gonna be okay."

Daryl knelt besides Dale. Dale's eyes flashed to him.

Hope gently turned Dale's head toward. "Look at me. Don't worry about him. Just look at me." A solitary tear ran down her face. "Thank you Dale, for everything."

Daryl cocked the gun, "I'm sorry, brother." He fired the gun and all was silent.

* * *

Daryl dipped the cloth into the bowl of water and slowly wiped the blood off of Hope's hands. She stared blankly ahead of her seeing nothing. She'd been like this since they'd returned to the RV. 

Hope had retreated into a place far inside of herself. Daryl hoped she hadn't gone too far that she might not come back. He knew how important Dale had been to her and his loss was a powerful blow.

"You need to change so Carol can wash these," he said pointing to her bloodied clothes. "Hope?" Daryl lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. "Hope? Do you understand?"

Slowly she nodded and her eyes began to focus once more. Daryl stood and turned around in an effort to give her some privacy. After a few moments he heard her make a soft noise of frustration. He peeked back at her and saw her fumbling with the buttons on her flannel.

"Here, let me help." Daryl grabbed her trembling hands and brought them to rest at her sides. He unbuttoned her shirt careful not to touch her skin. The last thing he wanted was her to think he was trying to feel her up while she was vulnerable. When he unbuttoned the last button he stepped away. "Think you can handle it from here?"

Hope nodded and Daryl turned around. After a few minutes Daryl felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Hope in a yellow sundress. The color clashed with the somber mood that hung over everyone. "Are you hungry?"

Hope shook her head.

"Well you're gonna eat something. You can't afford to lose weight; you're too skinny as is." Daryl took her hand and guided her out of the RV. He sat her down at the picnic table and got a plate for himself and her. He set the plate down in front of her and sat across from her. Hope stared at the plate.

"You gotta eat something, Hope."

"I'm not hungry," she answered quietly.

"Eat anyway," Daryl huffed. "There's nothing to you."

Daryl stared her down until she ate a spoonful of beans. If it had been any other day Hope would have found amusement in Daryl's mother hen routine. Right now she was too numb to feel anything. Which in a way was good, she supposed. Instead of being overcome with grief.

"Come on, get up."

"Where are we going?"

"For a walk, come on."

Hope stood up with a sigh. She didn't feel like going on a walk, to be honest she didn't really feel like doing much of anything. For a moment Hope considered resisting but Daryl shot her a stern look and she decided against it.

They walked away from camp with no particular destination. The night air was cool and crisp; Hope tipped her head up and breathed it in. She stared up at the night sky and the stars twinkling in the distance and for a moment it was easy to forget all that had happened. Only for a moment though. One blissful second when nothing was wrong with the world before it came rushing back.

"Why'd you do it?" Hope asked softly.

"Do what?"

Hope opened her mouth but found she couldn't say the words, didn't know how to, didn't want to.

Daryl took her silence as an answer. He shrugged, "Rick shouldn't have to do it all."

"I don't feel anything."

"Maybe that's good for now." Daryl said echoing her previous thought.

Hope nearly ran into Daryl as he stopped abruptly. He put a fist in the air, motioning her to stop. Hope didn't dare breathe. She stared out into the inky blackness willing her eyes to see any shapes moving in the dark. Was this how Dale felt before the end? The tight grip of panic stopping his breath before a walker attacked him.

Daryl lowered his fist, "It's nothing, thought I heard something."

Hope looked around warily. "Maybe we should head back."

Daryl peered out into the forest and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

The walk back was significantly quicker. Daryl ushered her along with a hand at the small of her back. It wasn't until they were back in the safety of the camp that he dropped his hand. He turned toward his truck when Hope grabbed his hand.

Daryl turned back. "What?"

Hope swallowed, "There's room in the camper for one more."

"You sure about that?"

"I-I don't want to be alone right now."

Daryl nodded and followed her into the RV.

"Hey." Daryl said softly.

Hope looked up. Everyone had left the grave.

"Come on, let's get you inside." He reached out a hand to her. Hope took his hand and followed, trusting him to keep her safe.

* * *

The day passed in a blur. Hope forced herself to get up and face the world. The time to cry was over she had to keep moving. It was that or crumble and she wouldn't do that. Hershel had decided that the group would move into the house. For the rest of the day Hope helped everyone settle into the house. Having so few belongings of her own, she could afford to lend a helping hand.

When the work was done and the group decided to settle down for the evening, Hope quietly slipped into Hershel's study. She found it calming to be among all those books. Whenever she had a minute, she would wander in here, sit and read about anything and everything.

Hope curled up in the chair and opened the book she'd started reading a few days ago. It was a mystery novel about the death of a rich man and all the people who came to his funeral looking to cash in. One of them was his murderer and a private investigator the man hired in will was trying to figure out who killed him. It was a nice change of pace from the world around her.

A few minutes later she heard a door slam. Startled she dropped her book and stood up. She heard voices in the parlor and went to investigate. The group was huddled around the couch, concern etched into their faces.

"Where's Hope?" Hershel asked.

"What happened?"

A dozen eyes stared up at her startled. Hershel cleared his throat, "Hope, it's good you're here. It's not safe outside. I was just going to go look for you."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Randall escaped; he caught Shane off guard and took his gun. Rick, Daryl, and Glenn went with Shane to go find him."

Hope furrowed her brow and nodded. The idea of Daryl running around in the woods at night while a potentially dangerous man was on the loose, made her stomach clench. If Daryl was hurt…Hope shook her head. She didn't want to think about that, couldn't think about it.

"It would be difficult for Randall to move around, with his leg so torn up. He shouldn't be that difficult to find. I'm surprised he got the drop on Shane." Hope thought out loud.

"He's armed." Andrea said. "And he caught him off guard."

Hope bit her lip. "I suppose so."

Andrea turned to face the window.

Hope slipped quietly out of the room and went back to the study. She crawled back into the comfy chair and tried to focus on the book in front of her.

A while later, long after the sun dipped below the horizon and the crickets were chirping in full force, Hope once again heard the door slam. With a breath of relief she heard Daryl's voice in the parlor. She stood up and walked quickly towards him, wanting visual confirmation that he was in one piece.

His eyes found hers immediately as she walked into the room. Though he spoke to the group his gaze remained firmly fixed on her.

"We heard a shot."

"Maybe they found Randall." Lori suggested to Daryl.

"We found him."

"Is he back in the shed?" Maggie asked.

"He's a walker." Daryl answered.

"Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel asked.

"No, the weird thing is he wasn't bit." Glenn told him.

"His neck was broke." Daryl added.

Hope furrowed her brow.

"So he fought back?" Patricia questioned.

"The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. Shane ain't no tracker so he didn't come up behind him. They were together."

"Would you please get back out there and find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on?"

"You got it."

"Thank you."

Daryl walked outside and immediately came back. "Y'all better come see this."

The group piled out of the house and watched in horror as a herd much larger than the one they had encountered on the high way shambled towards the house.

"Patricia, kill the lights." Hershel whispered.

"I'll get the guns." Andrea said.

"Maybe they're just passing like the herd on the highway. Should we just go inside?" Glenn said nervously.

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about, a herd that size would rip the house down."

"Carl's gone." Lori said frantically. "I went upstairs and he's gone. I-I can't find him."

"Maybe he's hiding." Glenn suggested.

"He's supposed to be upstairs. I'm not leaving without my boy."

"We're not. We're gonna look again. We're gonna find him."

Andrea came back a moment later with the guns. Maggie stooped down and picked up a shotgun. She began loading it with bullets.

"Maggie?" Glenn asked.

"You grow up country; you pick up a thing or two."

"You can go if you want," Hershel told Daryl, cocking his gun.

"You gonna take em' all on?" Daryl asked him.

"We have guns, we have cars."

"Kill as many as we can. " Andrea finished. "And we'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm. "

"Are you serious?" Daryl asked

"This is my farm. I'll die here." Hershel walked off the porch towards the herd.

"All right, it's as good a night as any." Daryl said hopping off the porch.

Hope bit her lip. She hoped Daryl hadn't meant that literally. She had a bad feeling about this. They should leave now. Take the cars, find Rick, Carl and Shane and get the hell out. Shaking her head she began to gather some supplies just in case. She grabbed her medical bag and the first aid kit. Then she went into the pantry and started loading up a bag with canned food.

Upstairs she could hear Lori and Carol frantically search for Carl. Outside the sound of gunfire and engines roaring could be heard. Hope's heart pounded in her chest. Her pulse beat in her throat like a trapped bird. When the bag was almost full Hope closed it. She ran to the parlor and set the bags down. She went to her corner and started to pack her things. She packed some of Daryl's clothes as well.

"What are you doing?" Beth asked.

Hope shook her head. "There's no way they're going to be able to drive off a herd that big. We don't done have the firepower or the manpower. Our best bet is to leave. I would suggest you gather your things."

Lori and Carol ran into the parlor moments after. "I can't find him anywhere!" Lori yelled.

"Maybe he went outside to find Rick or went after Randall himself."

"Maybe he set the fire." Patricia offered.

"We need to leave." Hope said.

"I can't leave without Carl."

"He's probably with Rick or Shane. Carl's a smart boy he would know to go to the highway if he got separated and that's where we need to go. You can't go out and look for him now, you'll get yourself killed."

"I-I can't just leave."

"Lori, look at me." Hope griped her shoulders. "You can't stay and you can't look for him. What other choice do you have?"

"He's my son," Lori whispered brokenly.

"He's going to be okay. He's a smart kid."

Lori nodded weakly.

Hope turned to Beth. "Take this," she gave her one of the bags. "Stay close, okay."

Beth nodded.

Hope walked out of the house, the other four close behind. Lori called out to Hershel but he refused to listen. They ran around back where the cars were. A walker grabbed Patricia and bit her. Beth was holding her hand and Lori pulled her away. A dozen or so walkers immediately descended on Patricia her screams piercing the night. Lori and BEth scrambled in a different direction. Hope tried to follow but walkers got in the way. Hope fought her way to one of the cars.

Hope opened the door to a car and immediately piled in. She saw Andrea and T-Dog drive up. Andrea got out and went to help Carol who was cornered by two walkers. Andrea shot them easily but didn't see the walker behind her. Hope saw the walker tackle her to the ground. Hope tried to find Carol but found her view blocked by some walkers that began to crowd around her car. Hope searched frantically for the keys in the glove box. Finding them she started the engine and put the car in drive. She maneuvered the car onto the road and drove away.

Hope drove for miles before she stopped. She pulled to the side of the road and stopped. The night was quiet and the air was still. Hope took a deep breath and let out a sob. Thick, fat tear drops leaked from her eyes as sob after sob racked her chest. She cried for Dale; poor, sweet Dale who tried to see the good in everyone. She cried for the farm and the moment of peace she'd enjoyed there. But most of all she cried for the unknown. The uncertainty of what lay ahead. She was alone again; unsure of what happened to the others. Unsure of what happened to Daryl. Hope let out a shaky sigh. She decided she would wait at the highway, where they left supplies for Sophia. She would wait for someone, anyone to show up and if they didn't…Hope shook her head. She would think about that later. Shifting the car into drive Hope continued on down the road towards the highway.

When she arrived, it was still dark. Hope pulled out a sweater from her bag and put it on. She curled up in the seat and leaned her head back. She wouldn't get any sleep but she could at least rest for a bit. She would need it. After a few minutes her eye lids began to flutter and within moments she was fast asleep.

* * *

 

A knock on the window startled Hope awake. She whipped her head to the driver's side window and blinked. It was light outside. For a moment she couldn't comprehend the sight before her. Rick, Hershel and Carl were in front of her. Hope opened the door and scrambled out.

"You made it." Hope whispered.

Rick nodded. "What about the others? Lori?"

"I-I'm not sure we were leaving but got separated last I saw she and Beth were in the truck with T-Dog I think."

"And Maggie?" Hershel asked.

"I don't know, I didn't see her."

"What do we do Rick?" Hope asked.

"We wait. We wait for them to come."

"And if they don't?"

"They will." Rick told her.

Hope nodded. "Okay."

Time passed at an agonizing pace. Every few minutes or so Hope would crane her neck to see down the road. It was a useless gesture, she would be able to hear Daryl's bike long before she could see him. What made the wait worse were the occasional walkers that ambled by. Rick had decided that they wouldn't kill the walkers in case there was a herd near by. Not to mention they were all exhausted beyond their limit.

"You have to get out of here, it's not safe." Hershel told Rick.

"No, we have to wait. I'm not leaving without Lori."

"Think about your boy, he's your responsibility now. You can't stay here." Hershel insisted.

Rick looked torn. "What if the others come?"

"I'll stay here and wait."

"By yourself?"

"If it's my time, it's my time."

Rick wiped a hand over his face and sighed looking out at the dozens of empty cars around them. Nodding, he knelt before Carl.

"Dad we can't leave. It's Mom we're talking about." Carl pleaded.

"Carl, it's not safe here and-" Rick was cut off by the sounds of vehicles approaching.

Hope released a breath she didn't know she was holding when she heard the familiar rumble of Daryl's bike. The cars pulled to a stop and those who had survived piled out. Hope searched the faces of those who remained and found Andrea missing, Jimmy and Shane as well. Hope already knew Patricia hadn't survived.

Daryl pulled his bike to a stop and caught her eye. He nudged the kickstand with his foot and got off of the bike. Hope's feet moved of their own accord as they carried her towards him. When she was in arms reach she stopped. Daryl grabbed her shoulder and jerked her into his arms. Hope closed her eyes and tucked her head under his chin. She breathed in his scent; smoke and gun oil and something spicy that tickled her nose.

Daryl pressed his lips into her hair. "I couldn't find you. I thought…" He squeezed his arms tighter around her.

"I know." Hope held on a little tighter. His warmth seeped into her tired bones and his heart thumped steadily against her cheek. He was alive, she was alive. They made it and they were together and that's what mattered.

"How did you find everyone?" Rick asked Daryl.

"Well those guys tail lights zigzagging all over the road, figured it had to be an Asian driving like that."

Glenn chuckled. "Good one."

"Where are the rest of us?" Daryl asked releasing Hope from his death grip. He kept his arm slung over her shoulder, so that her side was tucked tightly against his.

"We're the only ones who made it so far."

Hope listened as the others pieced together who had survived and who hadn't. A shiver went up her spine when she realized how close they had been to death. As if sensing her unease Daryl squeezed her shoulder gently.

"We need to get out of here," Rick declared. "This place has been crawling with walkers."

"I say we head east." T-Dog said.

"Stay off the main roads," Daryl said. He let go of Hope and walked to his bike. He picked up his crossbow. "The bigger the road, the more walkers, the more assholes like this one, I got him." Daryl fired his crossbow and the arrow flew straight into the walker's eye socket. It was the same walker they had narrowly avoided earlier, Hope noted.

"We'll take two cars and Daryl will take his bike."

The group split up into each car. Hope stared at the motorcycle.

"Come on," Daryl said patting the seat.

Hope swallowed nervously. "I don't know."

Carol got out of Glenn and Maggie's car, "Hope why don't you take my seat and I'll ride with Daryl."

Hope breathed a sigh of relief. She shot Daryl an apologetic look.

Daryl grumbled something under his and rolled his eyes. Hope gave him a small hug before she climbed inside of the car.

They drove for a few hours before Rick honked his horn. Glenn pulled to the side of the road. Hope opened the door and got out.

"You out?" Daryl called back to Rick.

"Been running on fumes for the past hour."

"We can't stay here," Maggie told him.

"We can't all fit in one car." Glenn said.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning." Rick told them.

"Spend the night here?" Carol asked.

"I'm freezing." Carl complained.

"We'll build a fire, yeah?" Lori said. Rick walked over and handed Carl his jacket.

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close." Daryl warned. "I've only got so many arrows. How are you doing on ammo?"

"Not enough."

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie said.

"Watch your mouth," Hershel scolded. "Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."

"All right, we'll set up a perimeter. We'll find some gas and supplies in the morning. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try to scrounge up some gas." Maggie offered.

"No we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."

"Rick we're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse but at least we've found each other." Hope looked at Daryl. "I wasn't sure but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere there's got to be a place."

"Rick look around, okay? There's walkers everywhere, they're migrating or something." Glenn said waving his arms around.

"There's got to be a place, not just where we hole up. Where we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other. I know it's out there we just have to find it."

"Even if we do find a place, and we think it's safe. We can never be sure, for how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that it was safe." Carol said.

"We won't make that mistake again." Hershel responded.

"We'll make camp tonight, over there." Rick pointed at what looked like the foundations of an old building. "Get on the road at the break of day."

"Does this feel right to you?" Carol asked Daryl.

"What if walkers come through?" Beth asked Rick. "Or another group like Randall's?"

"You know I found Randall right?" Daryl told Rick. "He had turned but he wasn't bit."

"How is that possible?"

"What the hell happened?"

"Shane killed Randall." Daryl said. "Just like he always wanted to."

"And then the herd got him?" Lori asked.

Rick clenched his jaw. "We're all infected."

"What?" Daryl asked.

Hope bit her lip.

"At the C.D.C Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it."

"And you never said anything?" Carol asked.

"Would it have made a difference?"

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn said.

"You saw how crazy that mo-"

"That isn't your call. Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told for the good of everyone."

"Well I thought it best that people didn't know." Rick walked down the road.

The group stood for a few moments absorbing the information they had just been given.

Hope cleared her throat. "I packed a few things before I left, some food and medical supplies. It should be enough for the night. For now I think we should start a fire and make camp where Rick said. We're losing daylight and we shouldn't be wandering the woods at night."

Hershel nodded. "I agree, let's get to work."

* * *

 

"This isn't a democracy anymore."

Hope watched Rick walk off. The group stood in a stunned silence. Once again Hope broke the tension. "We should get some sleep. We've got a long day ahead of us."

Slowly the group broke apart and settled down for the night. Hope made her make shift bed in the corner with a wall at her back. T-Dog and Rick would take the first watch then Glenn and Hershel. Daryl would take the last watch with Rick.

Daryl laid down about a foot away from Hope. "You asleep?"

"No."

"Can't sleep?"

"Yes."

"You cold?"

"No."

There was a beat of silence before Hope spoke again. "It makes sense."

"What?"

"That we're all infected, it makes sense."

"How do you figure?"

"Think about how fast we were overrun mass infection on a global scale in a matter of months. That couldn't have happened if the only way to be infected was through a bite. It would have been containable. The only way we could lose control that fast was if the rate of infection exceeded our ability to quarantine it. If we're all infected then that means every time someone dies they would turn no matter the cause of death."

"Suppose you're right."

"We're outnumbered Daryl, there's no cure, there's no way out."

"Hey," Daryl turned towards her and cupped her cheek. "We're gonna be fine. We've got each other and I ain't gonna let anything happen to you."

Hope held his hand. "Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise. Now shuddup and get some sleep."

Hope smiled and rolled onto her back. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. After all, this was only the beginning.


End file.
